About Christianity

i bumped into my old classmate today, and because we had a little time at hand, we talked for a while. we talked about various things, and of course, about the past. and as we talked, the conversation steered to our personality.

he reminded me of the little personality test we used to play as a class activity during my pre-university days. he reminded me that i got the animal 'shark', which was supposed to mean i am a domineering person, someone who won't give way to others. actually, before the results were out, they already guessed which animal i would get.

to that i replied i was not domineering. and what he said was, 'you are. just that you try to hide it.' actually i know i am someone like that, and like he said, i tried to hide it. i had been trying to supress this trait for a very long time now. he said when you interact long enough with a person the characteristics of a person will show up.

do we always do that? i thought, yea we do. maybe not to people, but to God. we know we are sinful. and we know we cannot hide anything from God. but sometimes, naturally, as if it was not intentional, we still do that.

sometimes when we sin deliberately, we feel guilty. or maybe some of us don't, which mean you are in more trouble than the rest. and we sometimes do things to make up, as if that would help. maybe put in more effort in ministry, do more good deeds, do more quiet time...etc. as if by doing all these things we could cover up our sins, and hide our mistakes.

but in the end, we are only deceiving ourselves. a sin is a sin. we cannot hide it. and God knows everything. if we have a sin, we have to confess, pray for forgiveness and repent. it did not matter how many good deeds you did if you are still sinning deliberately. for all the good deeds and ministry work we did, our heart is still view-able to God.

then, why do we still try to hide it? maybe it is human tendency. maybe to hide it from ourselves. so we will forget the guilt and focus more on the satisfaction from all the 'holy' things we did. but is this even constructive? i thought not.

just like how i cannot hide my personality from my friend, we all cannot hide the state of our hearts from God. it is hard sometimes to face our sins. it is hard to talk about the embarrassing things we did. but, God already knew them all. so, why not you just confess? and come clean?

we are all humans. the mistake you made (which i hope is not too serious), would most likely be committed by another person before. for all we did, God still loves us. so, there will be no need to hide anything. and even if we want to hide, we cannot do so. because He knows everything. we cannot hide it.

so, let's stop trying various ways to hide our guilt, and face it openly.

this post is short. maybe i am too tired to think. or maybe lazy.