About Christianity

'when i learnt of the truth for the first time... i decided... even if we are an illusionary existence... i still want to protect my clan... for this purpose... regardless of the methods used... regardless of what i have to throw away... regardless of who i kill... i don't care... i will definitely not allow anyone to destroy... the land which even though the people who reside in it are illusionary lives that are created, the land other than which they have no other place to go... even if my methods are evil, the glory and prosperity now... the kingdom of mibu... mibu's future... i want to protect with my own hands!'

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do you have things you want to protect? things that are precious to you, things that you definitely, absolutely do not want to lose? or maybe is there something you need to do? something you have to do, no matter what.

every sane and normal human on earth has a reason behind his or her actions. regardless of good or evil, moral or immoral, without a doubt, we act with a reason or motive. bad people do bad things. that is what we were taught to believe in, when we were growing up. and we were taught also to believe that good people do good things. or rather, the people who do good things are good people. but as we grow up, we realize that good people do bad things too.

i am not referring to bad things as sin. of course measuring by God's standard we are all bad. i am using the human standards and moral values. good people do bad things. or should i say, not all who do bad things are bad people?

as we see the situations and events which unfold from the sidelines, as like we are reading manga, we can observe everything with a clear mind. but when we are in the situations ourselves, we always judge by what our eyes see. because it is easier that way. because, we don't want to understand others. because, like what another person said, 'everyone is right in his own eyes.' i thought, maybe, we are like that too. we are always right. and others are always wrong.

anyway, that was off-topic.

the problem with all of us is that, we are only humans. we are humans with limited knowledge, limited power, limited wisdom, limited understanding...etc there is nothing about us that is perfect. on the other hand, you can be glad that none of us are perfectly evil. at least not that i know of.

and because we are humans with both good and bad sides, sometimes we have good intentions. like fubuki (the man who said all that above), sometimes we did not know what else we could do to fulfil this good intention of ours. desperately, we want to achieve something. maybe it is for ourselves. maybe it is for someone else. maybe, it is for the world. who knows?

whatever the case, we assume it is a good intention. but because we are only humans, there are things that we are not capable of. there are things that cannot be done if we do not harden our hearts. there are things that requires us to be cruel... etc. at least, according to human knowledge and the operating style of this world, that is true. we are humans in this world, and we suscribe to the system of this world one way or another. that is our natural instinct. and when we become christians, we don't operate the way the world operates.

i had sidetracked again.

anyway, if we have good intentions, but our actions are evil, then will we achieve anything? i don't know. never tried that before. but i thought, that if we want to do something good and nice, then, shouldn't there be a better way? because, somehow, it is sad to be like that. it is somehow sad to do bad things for the sake of achieving a good thing.

i don't know about you, but this is how i feel.

so, as humans we have limited skill and power. but we need to get something done. it is desperate. what can we do? i thought, maybe, ask God. if we want to do something good, there is a chance that it is according to His will. if you want to do something bad like killing another person, i can almost say that it is not according to His will.

and if what we want to achieve is according to His will, then i am sure He will respond to you. in what manner, i don't know. in how long, i don't know too. but i do know that He hears your prayer. if it is God, then with our limited power, limted skill, limited wisdom, limited understanding...etc we can still accomplish something without having to do evil. because it is God, miracles are not surprising.

maybe i have no right to say it since i have never fought for something so desperately that i would disregard the cost of achieving it. but you know, even if i sound like a hypocrite, i have to say, that doing evil is wrong, regardless of the intention.

and again, maybe i don't really understand what i am saying, and that i am just spewing out some self-righteous nonsense. but i think, if we want to do something good, we should just ask God. when people turned to all sorts of ways to accomplish their own goals, it is when you know your burden is too heavy for you to carry. it is when you are almost collapsing under the weight. and then, like what you should do long ago, you should turn to God and ask Him to help you carry part of the load.

you are not alone. even if the whole world rejects you, God is still with you. the most powerful, the wisest, the Creator of all things is with you. there is no need to be scared. no need to worry. no need to do evil to accomplish something good. God is with you.

all these while i have assumed you to have good intentions. so if you are desperate, and is looking on the side of evil to reach your goal, don't do that. turn to God. there is no need to carry everything yourself. there is no need to do evil. trust in God. and then you will see a miracle, most probably. i don't know what God wants to do.

whatever you do, turn to God and trust Him.