About Christianity

'don't tell me... you have already... forgotten how to smile?'

---

the once kind and loving king, upon witnessing the crumbling of his country (which was actually not his fault), seeing the suffering of his people and not able to do anything about it, had despaired over the situation.

over the course of despair, he had seeked an alternate route to end all of the sufferings... it's complicated... the story. so just take it as for now he turned evil. the kindest person who wished, more than anyone else for his people to gain happiness... turned into a person more evil than anyone and more cruel than anyone.

in one of my posts long ago, i wrote about how people went about wearing fake smiles. i thought, that was normal. and i still think it is. but you know, to forget how to smile, even if it is a fake smile, i wonder, how tragic is that?

i don't think it happens in stories only. i believe somewhere out in this big big world, out of the population of 4 billion there are some who really had forgotten how to smile. a smile represents that a person is experiencing a happy emotion. although it is sad that we are always wearing fake smiles, it is still within the acceptable range. because we still remember the meaning of a smile.

a person who had forgotten how to smile, i can only think that he or she had gone through despair beyond his or her own endurance. like the king in the story, the despair over the years had sunk him down into such despair that he saw no more hope. he had already forgotten the happy things.

despair, i think, is a very destructive emotion. not everyone of us go through it. don't bother those emo people who for a little hormonal change in their body which caused a slight depression acted like they are in despair.

despair is a state which one person enters when he cannot take any more pressure, be it grief, or hopelessness... etc. it is not easy to sink into despair. but i guess, it is not easy to come out either. i guess there is no need for me to say this, it is the ultimate level of hopelessness, it is one of the most extreme of feelings one can ever get.

since it is a feeling so extreme, certainly it will change a person. just like how hope can bring a person up, despair can bring a person down. a person in despair may not act like one. afterall, there are all kinds of people. and reality is or may be quite different from stories. not all the people will go on a drinking binge, or coop up at home rotting away. in reality, a person in despair may still go through the motions of life. the only difference is that, he doesn't hope anymore, doesn't dream anymore, doesn't expect anymore, doesn't look forward to anything anymore. everyday, walking on and on along that road of life. nothing but just walk along the road aimlessly, waiting for the end to come. to me, this is my best description of despair.

maybe, he will forget how to smile. maybe he will forget the important things to him. no, it should be, he had already forgotten how to smile, and forgotten the important things. forgetting to smile means to forget all the happy things which happened to a person, and all the happy things which can happen to him. it is a very scary feeling. yet at the same time, those feeling despair may not actually find it scary.

i did not go through despair before. and the above is the nearest description of what i know of what may happen to people in reality. maybe i am just saying what i do not know. if i am, please correct me.

as christians, despair is a feeling we must never feel. because hope is one of our most important way of life. if i walk along the road of life, and i met one person having despair, would i lend him a helping hand? will i tell him, 'hey! look in front. the light is shining.' will i do that? i don't know. i hope i do. because i think, that kind of feeling, isn't supposed to be in this world.

if all else fails, we can turn to our last hope. turn to God. He is the one who wishes for our happiness too. with Him around, despair can be taken away easily. your tears can be wiped away. even the smile which you had forgotten, He will let you remember. then as you believe in Him, place your hope in Him, one day, you will be able to smile again, and not just a fake smile, but a genuine smile which comes from your heart. because, you have remembered once again, that you actually know how to smile too.