About Christianity

they say life is like a journey, and that when you are born you start walking, and until the end when you reach the destination you die. well essentially it is true, in a way. but they often missed out many important parts. from one end to another, there are many roads to take. one road split to many roads, and further split up, and sometimes they join back.

life is like a road in which when we walk, we cannot turn back. maybe small mistakes is like taking a wrong sideroad, you can go back to the main road easily. a big mistake would be like taking a road that turned away from the highway. no matter the case, there is no turning back, because what is done is done, and time cannot turn back. maybe, you can say, one second of our life is like walking one step.

of course, no 2 people can take the exact same road from one end to another. there may be people who will walk the same road for a period of time, but we are all designed to have a road of our own. a road which only we can walk, a road which only we are suitable to walk.

and then some of you might say, that is unfair. some will say others have a peaceful road made of gold, while their road is filled with wars and poverty. some might say they see others having a busy road with many people coming in and out, while their road is just an empty road without a soul. some of them will say they have a smooth road, while theirs is a road full of holes and traps. i hope you get the analogy...

because we are created differently, and put in different situations, we have different paths to take. a path we have no choice but to take, or a path that we felt it is suitable for us. as we walk along the road, sometimes we might see other people and be envious of them. why are their roads so smooth and peaceful? why do the people who walk on that road seem so carefree? why do i have to walk my road? is it even fair?

sometimes we take things into our own hand. we try to get out of our path, and to get into the other lane. sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail. but maybe, in the end, we are not happy. you might get what you aimed for, but is that what you really wanted? maybe, in the end, you realized that you have wasted your life for nothing.

maybe i have no right to make this post. because as my usual flaw of my posts are, i did not take into account those who are suffering a lot. maybe, if i am an african child starving, or a chinese girl sold as a sex slave, or maybe an iraqi child growing up in the war zone, i would risk and bet my life and try to my last breath to get out of the situation.

i thought if i say 'stick to your own lot, everyone' i will be saying irresponsible things, saying things i did not understand. because if i am one of the people suffering like this, i thought i will definately look at the person who said that to me as a hypocrite.

i think i got my point out. there are roads you do not want to take. put it simply, in our normal lives, why are some people born ugly and others pretty? why are some stupid and some intelligent? some sick and others healthy? some have a happy family while some have a broken family. why do some have many friends while the others have no friends? the list goes on. to tell everyone to stick to their own road is saying irresponsible things. because at one point or another, everyone, even in their most blessed situation, would want to change their road to a better path.

i think i am still going to say something irresponsible. because i could not think of any other way to say it. sugarcoating what i am going to say is just going to make me insincere and fake. so, if you are offended, i am really sorry. maybe because i have a blessed life, so i could actually say such things as if it was nothing.

i think, God put us there so we would walk that path. walk down a path He intended us to walk. a path only we can take. everyone has a purpose to fulfil, something we have to do. in order to do that, we need to walk that path.

have you ever met someone who said, 'i understand. i used to be like you...'? when we have troubles, sometimes we met people who had the same problems with us. they give us advices. they encourage us. they tell us, 'it is a hard road, but you can do it.' because there are people like that, so we can continue walking. because there are people like that, we can pick ourselves up when we fall, that we did not fall and not get up.

maybe, as you walk along the road, you will find people who find that path tedious to walk. then you, who already overcame, who already is familiar with the lane, can help or walk together with the people. because only you walked that path, so you are more suitable to help them than the rest. the guy who walked the lane beside you could not do a better job than you. because the guy who walked a different lane, could never understand the feelings of those who walk your lane.

maybe, you find your path dark, or colorless. maybe it is a scary road, or a tiring road. there are roads that have obvious difference from the rest. those who are in a civilized society are obviously more fortunate than those in war zones, despite all their problems such as worrying about finance. those who are starving are obviously less well off than those who have to scrimp and save to buy bread for dinner.

that is the extreme case. if we lessen the gap, we can see some people who need to support their families while studying. some have to endure the nonsense of an alcoholic or gambler in the family. compared to the rich man's son/daughter whose worry is they have only $100 dollars a week for allowance, the former is obviously less well off.

what a dull road. maybe it is not even dull. maybe it is just plain dark. you might wonder, how long more do you have to walk? or maybe, is there even a need to continue walking? in fact, is there anyone who cares if you continue walking?

if i have to say, i would say yes. there is someone who cares. God cares for you. if you are sad, He is sad. He might not transfer you to another lane, but He will walk down the road with you. He might not give you a smooth road made of gold to walk, but He will give you a pair of shoes so you can continue walking. He might not give you a detailed layout of your path, but He will lead you in front, to guide you. He promised that if you follow Him, you will find your rewards at the end of the road. if you walk with Him, the scariest road can turn into the most peaceful road. the darkest or the colorless road can turn into a bright and colorful place.

and then you might say, you don't believe in God. because you find no comfort for all the sufferings. because you don't see a God in all the time you were forced to take that road.

i cannot explain why is that. nor can i give a reason. because i did not go through that, so i do not understand. and because i did not go through it, i am not fit to criticize you. but if i have to say something, even if it is out of my place, is to take that very first step of faith. accept Christ into your heart, into your life. it might be a dramatic experience, it might not. but i know your life will change. you might not believe, but if you don't take the first step to follow Him, your road might forever be dark and scary. if you don't take the first step to walk with Him, you might be forever standing on the same spot, unable to move. and then, instead of gaining a loving relationship with God, you might lose more and more things.

i guess it is out of my place to say this. but if you can, why not take the first step? just a small little step will do. God will know what to do when you hold His hand.

'i often carry the feeling of going forwards, looking out at the outside world from here (top of a building)... for that dream i could never fulfill... for freedom, i made many sacrifices... ... ...' - this is a line you might find familiar, because as usual, it is taken from a story.

i don't know why, but recently, as you can tell from my blog posts, i keep on thinking about unachievable things, about unobtainable (is there such an English word?) things. i guessed it got to be my topic of interests for this short period. i have no idea how long it would last though. or maybe it is due to the stories i read and the story i am writing, and when combined these ideas get stuck into my head.

impossible dreams. say, you want to be the richest man on earth. or maybe the most powerful man on earth. how about the prettiest woman ever alive? or the most intelligent person to walk the earth (King Soloman already took that spot. settle for number 2!)

i have the habit of telling myself to know my own limits. somewhere in the past, i found myself gradually getting less and less interested in doing the impossible. well, not impossible, the less possible as you might say. there were goals we made many sacrifices on the way as we travel towards it. but because we are humans, there are things that we cannot control.

is it stupid? chasing after the impossible dreams. chasing after a goal you know you can never obtain. stupid, right? but from what i see, all humans are somehow like that. not that extreme, maybe. but definately something like that.

ok let's say something we are all familiar with, both students and working adults.

students, we all aim to score. nobody study to fail. ok i am assuming we are all mature students who study for ourselves and not because your parents want you to. and that you are mature enough to know what you are doing and what is right for you.

in most scoring systems, they don't go by absolute scores to compute your grades. they go by the bell-curve. a certain percentage will get A, some B, the rest C,D,E,F. familiar? should be, since most of us undergo this system. say, we are at the bottom. we are not intelligent people like the scholars. ok let's start.

have you ever have this feeling that you can't study? no matter how hard you try, no matter how hard you study, you just cannot compete against others. in a competitive society, failures are not tolerated. people can say failure is the mother of success. but if it were up to us, we would rather succeed without failing. sometimes we felt like giving up. studying is so hard, so difficult, so stressful...etc.

but we cannot give up like that. why? in our society education is compulsory. not everyone can be the world's richest man even when he drops out of university. we try. and even when we know it is near impossible, we try our hardest to score our best so that our GPA (grade point average) could be higher and pull us higher and to a better spot in the bell-curve. even when we feel like giving up, we just cannot bring ourselves to do it.

what about working adults? we want to get rich right? buy a big house, big car. in our society, people ask how big is your apartment, what car are you driving, what jewelry are you wearing, what handbags are you using. we try and try, fight for promotion, work overtime. work like dogs, work like slaves, all for money. hoping to get rich, yet at the same time we will be always be an average worker in the world.

money flow in, but like a hole money flow out. kids' education, housing loan, parents' medical bills, daily expenses. money don't fall from the sky. just as the boss gives us money, we need to pay out the money also. we work and work, aiming for a dream we cannot get. why? who doesn't want a better life? of course it is good to have ambition, but it is another to make too many sacrifices.

just like the guy who stood at the top of the building (look at the head of this post), we made many sacrifices for impossible, or near impossible dreams.

for studies, we sacrificed our 'life' sometimes. our play time, our rest time, our gathering with friends. we don't spend time with family anymore. our quiet time is cut short. maybe we don't go church anymore.

for work, we sacrificed time with family and children. we sacrificed our health due to stress. our time...etc

like what i said in one of my previous posts, sacrifices are not reversible. for this impossible dream, how much more are we going to throw into the pit? i am not living in a war zone, so i don't have the 'impossible' dream to get a good life elsewhere. i don't live in an abusive family, so i don't have the 'impossible' dream of having a happy family. because i have a normal life, the less fortunate, when you see this post, may think i am a hypocrite. because, even if it is impossible, you want to try. because there are cases when if you don't even grab hold of that impossible hope and throw in what you have, there is no more meaning in life. because if you don't work for that impossible happiness you won't know what to do. is that right?

i used to have impossible dreams too. dreams i threw in a lot, and get nothing out of it. unlike the law of equivalent trade, we don't usually get something for the things we throw in. so what do i have to say?

for those of us who have a more blessed life, be content with what you have. there are things you can never get. be content, and enjoy the things God gives you. for those who are less fortunate, you have a God, don't you? ask Him for help. i don't know when that help will come. but asking for help will give you something more practical than throwing your bets into that never-ending pit of impossible dream. it is not to say you give up trying. God will lead you, and along the way, you try, with Him, with His help.

one day, when you look back at your life, just as he looked down from the top of the building, i hope you don't have a face full of sorrow that says you sacrificed too much for the impossible dream.

in case you are wondering, the law of equivalent trade is a story concept from 'fullmetal alchemist' which states that for everything you gain, something of an equal value must be sacrificed.