About Christianity

this blog post is meant more for teens and maybe young adults, though it may be applicable too to adults. when people around us, say friends or siblings annoy us, we can tell them to shut up. 'just shut up,' we can tell them this way. done, they will just shut up, hopefully. but what if it is our parents who keep talking about something we don't wish to hear?

throughout our life in the family, we do make mistakes. sometimes we give trouble to the family. sometimes maybe it is not our fault. whatever it is, parents, yes i know especially mothers, keep harping about our mistakes. sometimes they keep talking about it non-stop. they talk about it for an hour today, repeating the same darn thing over and over again. tomorrow when we do something else, they bring it up. and then maybe a week and a month later they still bring it up again, along with other stuffs in the past days. we might think, 'yes i know i am wrong. can you please shut up?' i admit myself, though i didn't say it out, that i wish that my mum will just stop repeating my mistakes in front of me over and over again.

then again, some of us may not take it. we will just tell them straight to shut up. depending on how you say it, or how your parents react, it might turn out for the better or for the worse. in my case, it was always worse. when i was a teen, even though i know, even though i had made the neccessary corrections and do the things to patch up my mistakes, my mum still will not forget about it. sometimes she even dig out stuffs years back. familiar? your mum does that too? and yes, i was a kid who didn't know how to respect my parents. and i am not proud of that. yes, i am not proud of it, and now i am trying to change. i think i made some improvements. i learnt it the hard way over the years.

ok so i shouted back at my mum because she kept shouting at me over the things long gone. result? she shouted louder, and me even louder. yes i know it is bad to do that. respect your parents. one of the 10 commandments. in the end, both of us got hurt. sometimes she cried, sometimes i cried (actually only once). then the standard cold war. i hate it. why do i have to go through such a thing? whose fault is it? my fault for screaming back at her to stop saying the things which i have already been punished for, which i have made the neccessary corrections and stuffs?

both sides are at fault. but i have the bigger fault. i have to admit it. first, i shouted at her, and thus showed disrespect. second, by shouting and showing disrespect i am provoking her into a bigger anger. she screamed louder. cycle repeats. then it gets out of hand. you must understand, in my family, whether in the first place the kid is wrong or correct, the parents always win. parents don't lose an arguement, and they don't lose a fight. i guess this is true for many others. anyway, the result will be a disaster. the home is not a place where you want to return to for the next few days, or in my case, weeks.

so, then, what can we as children do? yes, it is darn annoying when they keep scolding, criticizing and list out a whole darn list of faults we did and conveniently forget all the contributions we gave for the family. yes, i experienced that for the whole of my teenage life. only until when i am near adulthood that i learn to shut up. now, i don't scream back at her to ask her to shut up. this time, i shut up. annoying? yes. irritating? yes. my temper still almost went out of control. but remember, no matter what, shut up. they can scold you for minutes, for hours. but if you shut up, they too will shut up. maybe just give them a nod or a 'yes' whatever to let them know what you are listening. main point : shut up and don't say anything to provoke them. don't even say anything else if possible.

reason? if you shut up....ok let me rephrase. would you talk to a person who shut up and don't even talk back to you? would you talk to a person who act like a piece of wood and show no reply? your head inside during this whole time may be a mess, you might be angry now and you might not know when you will lose control if they continue talking. but still, shut up. if you just argue back once, the case is gone. anger that is suppressed and finally let out will well...you know how a dam breaks right? then you provoke her, and gone. she became even more angry. let your anger subside once she stop talking. i learn that through experience. no matter what, control yourself. trust me, it is worth it to shut up for a few minutes than to have a cold war for weeks.

i guess it is the nature of all mothers to be like that. you may be like that too. but remember, if you are a mother, remember don't make the same mistake. forget the mistake your kid made if they have been punished, if they had done what is neccessary to correct the mess. i said parents, but i only reference it to mums. dads are usually not included. why? because all they did when they get pissed is to punish you physically, and then both will shut up. simple. dads usually don't talk. so that's why there is no need to argue with them. no place for even talking.

moral of the story? to keep the situation under control and to let your mums shut up about your mistakes you made 10 years ago, shut up. shut up. shut up. keep telling yourself that. it works for me. it should work for you. and maybe, you can try that to other people who do that to you. but if you know someone who can talk to a piece of wood for hours and for days, i think you need to find someone else for help. my experience is limited.