About Christianity

'geez...what a guy! he ran straight in.'

'i've seen countless martial artists, however, though there are a lot of people who learn quicker than others, there aren't a lot that can reach the top.'

'those sort of people, are different from the people who even though don't have any talent, will rush straight for the top... is that what you mean?'

'the first step to the next level, i think, is to courageously step into the unknown.'

---

the moral of the story for the above conversation is fairly obvious right? and maybe you can guess what i want to say in this post.

without courage, we dare not try new things. and if we do not try new things, how do we learn about them? we will be stagnant and unable to improve. the same with our relationship with God.

in all personal relationships, trust is a very important and neccessary element. without trust, no personal relationship can survive. the same for our relationship with God.

God has our lives planned out, if we were to follow according to His plan of course it would be the best. but of course, He has given us the choice to follow His plan or not. afterall, christianity is also about making free choices. however, free choices doesn't mean you will definately make a good choice.

God wants us to follow His plan, but He always don't tell us ahead what is going to happen. maybe we can see just a little of our life ahead. for me, sometimes it get so serious i cannot even see one week ahead. that kind of feeling, well to put it bluntly, sucks. one thing that kept me going was that God knew what He was doing and whatever turned out will be the best for me. that is the basic level of trust needed. that you trust God to know what He is doing and that He wants the best for you.

that is why as you walk along the path of life that sometimes seems like a never-ending dark tunnel, you need to trust God enough to hold His hand and let Him lead you. sometimes the road He leads us seemed funny and ridiculous. but that is the best route. life is like a big web of road. you can choose to go many different paths. you can walk the path of the doctor, if you really really studied hard. you can walk the path of the criminal. every human has the potential to walk a certain path. for some it is easier, for some it is harder to walk a particular path, say the path of the extremely rich.

like i said above, what we want may not neccessary be a good choice. maybe i want to be a rich person, so i work hard and set up my own business. however God may not want me to do that. He know that by being an artist i can be happier and at the same time fulfil the purpose He had for me. however, an artist may live a poor life. that may seemed ridiculous, considering that our society is money-driven, and if we go according to God's plan, we may be asking for a little trouble.

the path of a rich person has this bright and straight road. the path of the artist may have this dark road. if i become an artist, how am i going to survive? how am i going to support my family? usually when we meet into some trouble we ask for help and trust that God will work everything out. but sometimes, we know that by obeying God we have invited some trouble into our lives. and this time, the question is, are we going to trust God?

the first step to the next level is to courageously step into the unknown. the path in front of you is dark. you cannot see a thing, and God wants you to go there. you are scared. but you also need to know God won't send you to die. He is not a sadistic God. if He planned a path for you, He will plan a way out too. this, is not according to the theories i heard people say. this, is according to my 21 years of life experience. although it may not seem much to you, i think if it works for me, it works for you. because God loves everyone.

the path may be hard, but there will be a reason why God wants you to walk that path you are scared of, the path that will make you suffer a bit. maybe as you walk along the path, you will find something new. maybe you will get something much more in return compared to that bright path you saw at the crossroads of life. and if you survive that path, your relationship with God will be taken up to another level. in short, level up (just like game-speak). you would have experienced God's love and grace more. you would have seen the results and the process and trust God more.

bravely step into the unknown, and aim for the next level. even though the unknown may be tough, but the rewards are well worth it. God, the most powerful being in all creation, is with you. the road may be hard to walk, but there is no need to be scared of anything else.

before his friend turned into sand, his friend asked him, 'so, what is your wish?'

'i just don't want to lose all these things. i only want, to take back all the happy memories of the past.'

and as he said that, all that was important to him turned into sand and disappeared.

---

this teenage boy, in order to turn the current reality into something like the past, challenged 'god'. his past was that of a happy one, with friends around him, and had little troubles compared to his current situation. but as always, reality is not always beautiful. his important friends were gone, and all he had was a nightmarish reality and loneliness. he did all he could to go back to the past, to revert things back to the previous state. in the end, he challenged 'god'.

how many of us are like that? well, not to the extreme of challenging God. how many of us are stuck in the past, unable to look forwards?

life is beautiful sometimes, and ugly sometimes. if there is happiness, there is sadness. if there are ups, there are downs. success and failure. stress and relief. everyone experience the same thing - joy, grief, victory, loss..etc.

maybe, at your current stage of life, everything looks so bad. so bad you want to despair. so bad, like that boy, you think it is a nightmare. there is nothing in front for you to look forward to. whatever you do, you keep failing. and maybe, finally, you give up hope, and dare not hope anymore.

and when that happens, it is human tendency to look back to the past. to the past when everything was so beautiful. there are many reasons why we do that. maybe it is the only source of strength that lets us go on. maybe we want to go back to that state. maybe, just naturally, as if addicted by drugs, we cannot help but go back to the past where our memories are.

but, i thought, if we cannot let go of the past, we cannot move forwards. if we cannot let go of the past, we cannot face the reality now. in a way, it is like drugs. for a short moment, we thought it would help us go on. but in the long term, it actually makes us despair even more.

why do we still hold on to that past? because, it is very hard to let go. because, the reality we are facing now is too hard for us to bear.

sometimes i am like that too. even though i know i cannot keep on doing this anymore. like that boy, if we continue to do this, if we cannot let go of the past, whether by despair or by desperate attempts to return things to the original state, one day, we are going to lose every single thing important to us.

because, the past can never return to us. that is why, it is called the past.

we need to let go of the past. but letting go does not mean you have to forget them. the past is important. but if we cannot let go, we have no future, and our present is so dark we cannot move on.

talk is easy, right? i thought so. i only know how to talk, so i don't know what to do myself. but i thought, maybe i can introduce you someone who can help you. maybe, i thought, i would introduce you to my God.

if one day, or now, you find your present too dark to go on, your future too uncertain to move forwards, why not ask for help from my God? He knows the way, the past, the present, and the future. if the road is too dark, ask Him to light it up for you. if the future is too blur, ask Him to guide you. i cannot promise you the road He leads you will be smooth. but this i can promise you: He won't give you a road too hard for you to walk. this i can promise you: wherever He led you, there He will be with you too.

let go of your past, so your heart won't hurt anymore. so you can turn your head around, face the front and continue walking. i don't know how long you have to walk, but one day, you will be able to see the light. if you really cannot go on anymore, then ask God for help.

of course, as we walk, we sometimes do look back. i think, it is ok. as long as we don't reach out our hands and try to grab it and turn it to our reality. the past can never be the present.

but i think, maybe, from the present, like what the people in stories always do, we can tilt our head sideways a bit, smile and say to our past, 'i am glad i was there once. it really made me very happy.' or maybe, we can tilt our head sideways, smile and say to our friends, 'i am very happy i once walked this road with you.'

it won't be easy. but this, is the key for us to face the present, and to walk towards the future. so, turn back and smile. don't cry because the past is behind you. at least, you have a past you can look back to.

---

fans may already know this - Mizuki Nana's dad passed away on 29th october 2008. it is on the news. anyway, my deepest condolences. her blog updates will be irregular for now though. for her blog entry on this issue, j1m0ne had done a translation of it on her website. http://atemonai.com/blog/mizuki-nana-on-her-fathers-passing/

they say life is like a journey, and that when you are born you start walking, and until the end when you reach the destination you die. well essentially it is true, in a way. but they often missed out many important parts. from one end to another, there are many roads to take. one road split to many roads, and further split up, and sometimes they join back.

life is like a road in which when we walk, we cannot turn back. maybe small mistakes is like taking a wrong sideroad, you can go back to the main road easily. a big mistake would be like taking a road that turned away from the highway. no matter the case, there is no turning back, because what is done is done, and time cannot turn back. maybe, you can say, one second of our life is like walking one step.

of course, no 2 people can take the exact same road from one end to another. there may be people who will walk the same road for a period of time, but we are all designed to have a road of our own. a road which only we can walk, a road which only we are suitable to walk.

and then some of you might say, that is unfair. some will say others have a peaceful road made of gold, while their road is filled with wars and poverty. some might say they see others having a busy road with many people coming in and out, while their road is just an empty road without a soul. some of them will say they have a smooth road, while theirs is a road full of holes and traps. i hope you get the analogy...

because we are created differently, and put in different situations, we have different paths to take. a path we have no choice but to take, or a path that we felt it is suitable for us. as we walk along the road, sometimes we might see other people and be envious of them. why are their roads so smooth and peaceful? why do the people who walk on that road seem so carefree? why do i have to walk my road? is it even fair?

sometimes we take things into our own hand. we try to get out of our path, and to get into the other lane. sometimes we succeed, sometimes we fail. but maybe, in the end, we are not happy. you might get what you aimed for, but is that what you really wanted? maybe, in the end, you realized that you have wasted your life for nothing.

maybe i have no right to make this post. because as my usual flaw of my posts are, i did not take into account those who are suffering a lot. maybe, if i am an african child starving, or a chinese girl sold as a sex slave, or maybe an iraqi child growing up in the war zone, i would risk and bet my life and try to my last breath to get out of the situation.

i thought if i say 'stick to your own lot, everyone' i will be saying irresponsible things, saying things i did not understand. because if i am one of the people suffering like this, i thought i will definately look at the person who said that to me as a hypocrite.

i think i got my point out. there are roads you do not want to take. put it simply, in our normal lives, why are some people born ugly and others pretty? why are some stupid and some intelligent? some sick and others healthy? some have a happy family while some have a broken family. why do some have many friends while the others have no friends? the list goes on. to tell everyone to stick to their own road is saying irresponsible things. because at one point or another, everyone, even in their most blessed situation, would want to change their road to a better path.

i think i am still going to say something irresponsible. because i could not think of any other way to say it. sugarcoating what i am going to say is just going to make me insincere and fake. so, if you are offended, i am really sorry. maybe because i have a blessed life, so i could actually say such things as if it was nothing.

i think, God put us there so we would walk that path. walk down a path He intended us to walk. a path only we can take. everyone has a purpose to fulfil, something we have to do. in order to do that, we need to walk that path.

have you ever met someone who said, 'i understand. i used to be like you...'? when we have troubles, sometimes we met people who had the same problems with us. they give us advices. they encourage us. they tell us, 'it is a hard road, but you can do it.' because there are people like that, so we can continue walking. because there are people like that, we can pick ourselves up when we fall, that we did not fall and not get up.

maybe, as you walk along the road, you will find people who find that path tedious to walk. then you, who already overcame, who already is familiar with the lane, can help or walk together with the people. because only you walked that path, so you are more suitable to help them than the rest. the guy who walked the lane beside you could not do a better job than you. because the guy who walked a different lane, could never understand the feelings of those who walk your lane.

maybe, you find your path dark, or colorless. maybe it is a scary road, or a tiring road. there are roads that have obvious difference from the rest. those who are in a civilized society are obviously more fortunate than those in war zones, despite all their problems such as worrying about finance. those who are starving are obviously less well off than those who have to scrimp and save to buy bread for dinner.

that is the extreme case. if we lessen the gap, we can see some people who need to support their families while studying. some have to endure the nonsense of an alcoholic or gambler in the family. compared to the rich man's son/daughter whose worry is they have only $100 dollars a week for allowance, the former is obviously less well off.

what a dull road. maybe it is not even dull. maybe it is just plain dark. you might wonder, how long more do you have to walk? or maybe, is there even a need to continue walking? in fact, is there anyone who cares if you continue walking?

if i have to say, i would say yes. there is someone who cares. God cares for you. if you are sad, He is sad. He might not transfer you to another lane, but He will walk down the road with you. He might not give you a smooth road made of gold to walk, but He will give you a pair of shoes so you can continue walking. He might not give you a detailed layout of your path, but He will lead you in front, to guide you. He promised that if you follow Him, you will find your rewards at the end of the road. if you walk with Him, the scariest road can turn into the most peaceful road. the darkest or the colorless road can turn into a bright and colorful place.

and then you might say, you don't believe in God. because you find no comfort for all the sufferings. because you don't see a God in all the time you were forced to take that road.

i cannot explain why is that. nor can i give a reason. because i did not go through that, so i do not understand. and because i did not go through it, i am not fit to criticize you. but if i have to say something, even if it is out of my place, is to take that very first step of faith. accept Christ into your heart, into your life. it might be a dramatic experience, it might not. but i know your life will change. you might not believe, but if you don't take the first step to follow Him, your road might forever be dark and scary. if you don't take the first step to walk with Him, you might be forever standing on the same spot, unable to move. and then, instead of gaining a loving relationship with God, you might lose more and more things.

i guess it is out of my place to say this. but if you can, why not take the first step? just a small little step will do. God will know what to do when you hold His hand.