About Christianity

'yukimura, i have a dream. during spring, (i want to) sit at the porch drinking tea that sakuya prepared. at the same time having conversations like 'the sakura flowers are budding over there,' and 'the sakura flowers are blossoming over here.' and then i will farm during summer or autumn. we do not need too much (food), but only enough for us to eat. but sometimes, i will squeeze out some money, and go out to the streets to buy the dumplings that sakuya loves most. during winter, kyo will definitely come to our place to stay. cheap... cheap sake will do, because the main dish will be the stories of kyo's adventures. then spring will come again. and it will repeat itself again and again... together with sakuya...'

'heh, it sounds good.'

'it's wimpy, right? if it is kyo, he would scold me, 'what is so fun about that?' he would most probably say that. but... i am really, more than anyone else, wishing for sakuya's happiness. i think... if i am able to do that for her, then it will be great.'

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those who read manga might find this scene familiar. the man who wished for such a simple life, to live with the one he loved, was one of the most powerful person on earth, so powerful that in the story he could be called god.

i made a similar post before, titled 'a normal life'. well this is somewhat like that, just that it is only a little different. maybe i have run out of things to say, and have to keep repeating myself.

when i was young, i told myself that when i grow up i would make lots and lots of money. i want to do whatever i want, buy whatever i want. probably because during that time i could not buy the things i like. at that time, i could only watch as my friends had the things they wanted, and i could only stand one side and envy them.

i told myself that i definitely do not want a simple life. i want a glorious life, a life with wealth and riches. it actually continued that way for a long long time. at that time i still did not understand why would people want a simple life. but i don't know why, maybe God opened my eyes a little and showed me what is really important. gradually, i began to give up on that dream.

not that i want to remain poor. i want to have money too. it is just that, i am not so persistent about getting very rich. maybe enough money so i would not have to worry about things like housing loan, medical fees, insurance...etc. slowly, i realized that money is just a way to gain happiness. it is not happiness in itself.

you know if your happiness can be sustained by say, 10 dollars. then you would not need to desperately earn 100 dollars. everything here on earth will fade away one day. and one day we are going to die. and if we die, what do you want to bring with you?

you can't bring away money. you can't bring away all your assets. what you can bring, is your memories. i don't want to die with lots of money left behind but nothing in my memory. i rather die a poor person but with lots of precious memories. because i only live life here once. whether i go to hell or heaven after that, i don't know. but for now, i want to make as much happy memories as i can. what about you?

what is it that makes you happy? being together with the one you love? to be free from all the worries of reality? to be able to fulfil your childhood ambition? everybody has a different dream. maybe you cannot do that on your own. but maybe you can ask God for help, if it is according to His will.

maybe, a simple life is good. like what the man said, he would rather farm than be the most powerful 'god' ruling all over the world. he would rather live in a poor house than to live in a palace full of riches, because in that small little place of his he can find happiness.

i realize that many times we are working hard for money because we know it opens the door to freedom (see previous post titled 'freedom'). but during the course of it, the money which is the key to the door, becomes the door itself. we thought if we have more, we are happy. many of us, along the way, forgot what we wanted. or maybe we never knew what we wanted in the first place. many of us, desperately try to earn money, so that if we found a door we can have the key ready to unlock it.

but is that a good way? what if we never find the real door we want to unlock? then what can we do? listen to human advice and take the doors of others as our own? no. even then, we will not be happy. i thought, maybe, we should ask God.

God created us. and He is God. since He knows everything, He definitely knows about you too, more than you yourself. it feels funny huh, to know that you do not know yourself really well. it is somehow, an irony. but in any case, you can ask God. He created you, and He knows which road is the road of happiness for you.

it may sound funny or stupid, but you may find happiness even if you are living a hard life. like the example i gave, doing farming is a hard life. but that was his dream, to live a life with the woman he loved. living in a palace as a god is an easy life, but he was not happy. you get what i mean? i don't know if it still sounds contradicting to you. but i hope not.

my friend once told me that, 'don't think that those poor people are not happy. they are actually very happy.' in reply i told her, 'i have no doubt that they are happy. but if it is me, i will be happier with more money.'

that was what i thought. and until now, i think so too. money is not everything, but it definitely can make life easier. if i do not need to sacrifice my happiness, i would not mind more money. some of you have difficulties. if you don't earn enough, your family will starve, and your kids cannot go to school. it is hard. having to pay for my own school fees, i kind of understand a little of the burden. but you know, God takes care of us, remember? if you hand it over to Him, according to my life experience, He will do something about it. but of course, you cannot just laze around and let Him do all the work. you have to put in effort too. i hope i am not wrong in saying that.

back to the main topic. if you let God take control, He will show you the way to happiness. maybe it is a simple life, or a hard life, or a luxurious life. who knows? but i know, that road, will definitely be a road to happiness. so, today, if you don't know where to go, let God show you the way. ask Him to walk with you. and i hope along that road to happiness, you can fill up your memories of this life. memories that will be with you after you die. memories that you will always be able to keep. (hmm i guess heaven and hell have a system which allows you to keep your memories of this life? i assumed it to be so though.)