About Christianity

today, out of a sudden, i felt down. i felt moody. maybe you would call that emo. but luckily i did not give anyone trouble. i have a habit of hiding it when i feel down. furthermore, i was alone today. well i was outside, with a lot of people, but nobody i know is with me. so i did not talk. i just felt down. maybe you have times like that. today is just one of the days. i don't like it.

reason why i felt down? some stupid reason. relationship again. no, i am not attached to anyone. i liked the wrong people, and the wrong people liked me. haix. end up single. not that i mind. i know myself that i am not ready yet. i know that i will screw it up if i enter a relationship now. i think i am still tired of it for now. yet, when i look at people, when i think about my friends, this feeling of envy came up again. i think i wrote about it in one of my previous posts. yeapx, i know i am not ready, yet i envy people. so contradicting. people always thought i am popular with the opposite sex. i have no idea how popular i am, and i don't really care.

is there a moral of the story today? i don't know. i remember asking God for help when i felt moody just now. why do i have to be moody? i thought i already got used to it. i don't want the wrong person to like me, and i don't want to like the wrong person. it is too tiring. i think i am good now, for now. well, i still got no reply why i felt moody. i still remained moody for sometime. then something else distracted me, for a few hours.

ok, since i made this post, it must serve a purpose. i made it a point that every post i made must serve a purpose, if not it will not appear on this blog. my conclusion: feeling moody must have something to do with your hormones or whatever chemical reactions in your body. the mind knows the situation, the heart just refuse to accept it. next time you feel moody for a stupid reason like mine, find something else to distract you with it. it is hard, but we have to know what is best for us and not let the heart take over too much, particularly if your mind tells you what is your real situation.