About Christianity

i have a friend who works in a hospital as some sort of trainee doctor. and she sees many kinds of patients. she always tells me about her experience in the hospital. well we talk nearly every night, if we have the time. yeah, and so, there are happy stories, and there are sad stories. as for me, usually i am quite emotionally detached because i am not the one witnessing the events and well, i am not related to them in any way, even if they are suffering.

and if you want to call me heartless or what, you think again. are you really able to feel sad for someone you don't know? or is that sadness just an emotion you forced upon yourself so that society sees you as a compassionate human? whatever the case, it doesn't really affect me. well the point of this post is not this.

we always pray and ask God for the little and big things in our lives. from the passing of exams to getting a pay rise, from getting married to raising up a kid, from asking for healing of sickness all the way to the peace in middle east, we ask God for a ton of things. and always, we ask for good things. natually, who would ask for bad things? no sane human, according to my logic, would do such a thing.

but you know, life is not always smooth. the (little) tragedies in our lives, they do happen.

and what if, one day, we finally met with the (little) tragedies in our lives? why do i bracket the word little? because i know, for many of us, no matter how 'tragic' our lives are, it is still not counted as tragic. to some, what we have gone through may be a lot, but to others, like what i always say, they would gladly take over our position add 10 times the suffering. but nevertheles, it is still a tragedy to us. so it is up to you to say if your life is tragic.

today, the story was about a cute atheletic teenager, in a famous school, with a brigh future ahead, suffering a stroke and end up in hospital, and is suffering from cognition problems now. also, she cannot walk or talk properly now. imagine, that happens to us. then, what will you do?

honestly, i don't know what i will do. to accept the good things from God, we take it for granted sometimes, and sometimes we do show our gratitude and really appreciate it. but what if one day, God decided to bring us down? then, what will we do?

it is very nice to read an inspiring story such as that of joseph and job in The Holy Bible, but it is totally another thing to experience that ourselves. to lose what we have earned for, to see what we have gone. how will we feel?

maybe, then it will be a test of faith again. will we trust in God again? even though we know there is a God, will we still follow Him. i have a friend, who told me he believes in God and His existence, but that he would rather go to hell than to trust God again. will we, end up like my friend?

sometimes, life is really hard. honestly, if i am in the position of that teenage girl, i would rather die. suicide (don't come and talk to me about how it is wrong to suicide). and the problem now is, she doesn't even have the capability to suicide.

how great is our faith? sometimes we may think we will die for God if the time comes. dying is easy. serious. but living in a state worse than death? will you still keep your faith? you have to think carefully, and answer it.

somewhere along, i read a quote which goes something like, 'i do not pray that God will remove your burden. but i pray that God will give you enough strength to carry it.'

talk is easy, right? i think, all christians should ask ourselves this question. how far would you go to believe in God? no matter what happens? if that is really what you think and believe, good for you. for those like me who are unsure, i think, we can only pray and get in a deeper relationship with God. for me, i don't dare to say i will still believe, because, this kind of thing never happened to me before. and so, how will i react? i seriously don't know.

faith. this is one of the things we need to enter heaven. without it, we will definitely go down to hell. and now, what will you do to keep your faith? how far will you go and keep that faith? this is very important, now that (i assume) most of us are still in a blissful position, we can think what we can or will do if that situation ever comes. because, if you don't, and one day you find yourselves like that cute teenager who lost nearly everything, and if you lose your faith, then, what will happen to you?

losing faith at that time, let's not talk about going to hell. by losing faith, you have effectively thrown away the most effective support you can ever have, that is God. i know it is easy to talk, that's why i can talk so much.

one day, if ever you or me end up having a (little) tragedy in our lives, i hope, we can still keep our faith. because, i think, that is the one thing most important for you. at that time, perhaps the most important thing to do, is to keep your faith. so i hope, all readers of this post will be able to keep your faith no matter what happens.

looking back is something all humans had done. well i don't know whether Jesus had done it. i am referring to all normal humans, like you and me. looking back, in this case does not mean thinking back to the old days where you were having fun or when you were suffering. looking back here means wanting to go back to the past, or maybe, wondering how it would be like if you did not take the road you are walking now.

as long as we are humans, we do make choices. for some of us, we have a lot of free choices we can make. for some of us, we are in situations where choices are not that much available to us. but whatever we do, we make choices. the simplest thing to choose, is the choice to live. the fact that you are here now, reading this post, simply means that for now you have at least made the choice to live. or maybe you can choose now whether to continue reading this post or not.

in my life, and i am sure for you too, there will be big choices that we have to make. getting married, choosing a job, deciding which house to buy, planning for a family. these are all big choices, at least for me. for some of the choices, the consequences are not that big. for some, it is very big. and a lot of times, we do not know what to do. despite given a choice, we don't know what to choose.

some of us decide to listen to people for advice. some of us have our choices determined by others. such as a boy or a girl would go to the school his or her parents decided. some of us would ask God to decide for us. the rest, well i guess it is either you make your own choice or you let the circumstances or 'fate' take you.

but as we walk along the road that we chose, inevitably there will be some problems in our lives. maybe it is a few, maybe it is many. some may be small problems, others may be a disaster. then we begin to think, what if, what if that day were to repeat and we choose the other road? what would have happened? maybe we would be more successful. or maybe we would be richer.

if you choose the road you regret now based on human wisdom or just 'fate', then i guess your wisdoms or the so-called 'fate' of yours is a bit wrong. if we listen to God, then i guess i can say something.

you know, when we let God decides, we are telling Him that He knows everything and we trust Him. at that time, i am sure He did not promise everything would be smooth sailing. i guess He probably only told you it would be the best for you. however we know that there is no free lunch in this world. to have something you have to work for it. so to get the success along that road, most probably you would suffer a little bit. well, the love and grace God gives you are free (but by no means cheap). you know what i am talking about, i hope.

we look back. yes. we think if at that time we did not listen to God, what would happen? the israelites thought of the same thing too when they got out of egypt. you know, the thing is, even if you look back, it is too late to do anything now. the chance is gone. the past is over. and it is the present now. what we have to be concerned about is the present and the future.

i know that God knows the future. and you know that too. just that sometimes maybe it is really difficult to walk down that road. so far, among all the decisions i had let God chose for me, i dare say i have not regretted even once.

true, sometimes i do think back and wonder. but to me, it is just for amusement. even when i am not in a very happy state, i don't want to think for real what if i had chosen another road. because, the reasons are simple.

1. i don't want to lose faith in God.
2. if the best road God chose for me is already this hard, what will happen if i don't listen to Him?
3. there is no point (like i said above)
4. thinking back will only make you lose confidence in the present and all motivation to work.

of course when i said i did think back, i thought it in a way like just for fun. i am not serious in regretting this road i have chosen. or maybe, i should say, in all my happy life i have not walked down a road hard enough for me to think that way.

you know, you have trusted God to make a decision for you. and you have walked down the path for a period of time, i assume? since you have walked it for quite some time, why not let God bring you through the rest of the path? you may not know where it leads to, but as long as the one in control knows, then i guess it is all right. at least for me, it is all right.

looking back for fun is ok, but seriously regretting choosing God's way is not. if we do this, we are doubting Him, or maybe we are blaming Him for giving us such a hard life. i think, that is not a very good thing. if we are in a mess, we should just ask for more help. that's all. have faith. if that is not enough, ask for more faith. keep asking, keep praying, until you get enough strength and faith for you to walk down that path.

ok now, i have to continue walking this path that God chose for me. i am going to study for a test, then i will think of a way to increase my income. i don't even know why i am doing all these. but since God chose it, i should just walk. that's all.

anyway, just a little bit of advertising. i have set up a little blog shop. you see the top of the page, there are some links. click on the 'blogshop' link to see what i have to sell. sorry though, it is only for singaporeans.

i had wanted to put up another post. but before i could put that, i came across something that changed my mind. i guess i would put it next time, after this post.

i was doing my quiet time when the material i used directed me to Exodus 16:1-5. well if you are lazy to flip open the Bible it is about the israelites complaining in the desert and said it would be better to die in egypt than to go out into the desert to starve. and the Lord said He would rain down bread from heaven, and the people are supposed to gather them to eat.

well, the Lord was speaking to me using that short story. of course when we read the Bible the Lord is telling us something, but this was something which directly affect the present moment of my life. well how do i put it?

actually i have responsibilies that i have to handle, yet i know i cannot do it. not that i don't want, just that my strength is not enough. well since it is a responsibilty, even if i don't want it, i still have to do it well. not that i am a very responsible person, but that the consequences of failure is somewhat disturbing.

anyway, since it was a set of responsibilties that only i alone can do, i could not get help from any other human. well not directly. and i have not gone around asking what i can do to better cope. oh well, the result of which is that i get very little sleep, and i am always very tired, and irritated, and frustrated. sometimes i even have to control myself so i will not flare up and throw tempers.

and so it goes on. and one day i thought, maybe i should just give up. i don't care about the consequences anymore. after weighing the benefits and cost, i thought there was really no point. i would just go through it, and i won't care. if things go bad, it is too bad for me since the results affect no other human except for me. it was so bad that if i have to say something, i guess it would be 'fuck the world'.

you might want to say something about me posting a swear word on a christian blog, but i see no difference between fuck and f**k since you would have known it and the intention to utter a word of profanity was there. the ** only serves as nothing but a nice wrapping for the vulgarities to make it more presentable and acceptable. in essence, the 2 words meant the same damn thing.

anyway, so the combination of the material i used for QT, the Bible verses, and God's own teaching to me was this: trust the Lord. like the israelites, who only gathered enough bread for one day everyday, except for the day before sabbath, trusted the Lord and depended on Him. they have no extra storage of food for tomorrow. tomorrow God will give them more food. like matthew 6:25-34 says, God will take care of us. do not worry about tomorrow.

so, in the end i concluded and learnt that i should depend on the Lord everyday. everyday receive a little of God's help. when the time comes, i guessed what will happen will happen. just like how the israelites have to go through the desert to the promised land, i guess i am heading towards some sort of promised land too, and i am in the desert. just that i hope the promised land i have in mind is not so far from the promised land intended from me. and that i will be obedient enough so i will actually reach the place intended for me instead of dying in the desert.

what's the moral of the story. some of you may have duties and responsibilties more than you can even take it. some of you have tried to the best of your ability and wanted to give up. i may not have the same committment as you, but i certainly know how it feels like to try hard, see no results and wanting to give up. but i guess God won't give you a responsibility so you can die alone. if you cannot handle it, ask for help.

i don't know about you. but when i realized that God actually tells me to trust in Him, i felt more peaceful. instead of just going through it and not caring about the results, i thought maybe i will do what i can and let Him decide the rest. of course, i still hope to get through it. and that i hope i won't fail (now that i have hope again). but if it is in the plan for me to fail so that i can get to another place, who am i to say anything?

the fact that the Lord of all creation personally tells you to trust in Him is actually very reassuring. it is not like a friend or some expert telling you to trust in him. because they are only humans. and humans have limits. i have a God who tells me to trust in Him, and He is the King who controls everything, He is the Lord that knows everything - past, present and future. so if He tells me to trust in Him, i would do that.

maybe you can say the only reason why i can say such a thing is because i have not met enough despair or hopelessness to totally lose faith in God. yeapx, you are right. that's why for now i can still have enough faith.

maybe you won't like me for saying this, but whether you like it or not, accept it or not, it does not change the fact that there is a God. despite wars and family violence, starvation and poverty, there is a God. i cannot explain why all these happen when God is in control, nor can i give an answer as to why there are so many tragedies in the world, but He is the King and He rules as He sees fit. and since He is the King and He asks me to trust and have faith, i will do that. that's why i said you might not like it when i say this. it sounds like hypocritical bullshit coming from a person who knows nothing at all.

i don't know what kind of life you have. but if you are not having any hope left, why not trying asking God to give you a little bread (help) each day as you walk across the desert which is your life for now? and when you walked far enough (in the correct direction of course) you would get to the new part of your life which is the promised land. but to do that, you will need to have enough faith and obedience. you wouldn't want to walk around in circles in the desert, let alone die there, right? or maybe you might get out of the desert, but if you did not reach the promised land, would you not have suffered the journey of the desert for nothing or for something less than what you could have gotten?

if there is anyone you should place your hopes on, why not try placing them on the King of all things? if you feel like, maybe you should just hope for one more time and work for one more time, why not hope in the Lord? because He doesn't give you the wrong kind of hope. because He knows what He is doing. and because He is in control. and most importantly, the King of all creation loves you very much.

i have always hated studying. and because of that, i usually put off studying till the last period, around 3 months or so, and cramp either one or two year's worth of work into that few months, depending on which examination i take. the result is that during that 3 months or so i have almost absolutely no play, and practically stay at home to study every free time i got. after the exams i would be very exhausted, and took very long to recover from the mental tiredness.

i don't like studying, and i still study. i know it is no fun, yet i still try to score for examinations. why? everyone knows, it is because we have to score to have a better future. not that scoring for academic examinations will ensure a bright future, but it gives a headstart. a headstart makes a lot of difference. that is why people work hard for it, to widen the headstart between oneself and other people. nothing wrong with it.

is there even a lesson from this story? yea i guess so. the same thing can apply to chrisitianity. walking the narrow way and the broad way. it is hard sometimes to do the right thing. i hate that feller and i don't want to forgive him, but i have to. i want to pay him or her back for what he or she had done to me, but i can't. i have to keep my mouth from saying swear words. i cannot engage in sexual immorality like other people did. there are a ton of things i cannot do and another ton of things i need to do.

but people still go through it. why? like exams, the life we experience now will determine where we go in the future. even in exams, we have to depend on luck sometimes. will i be sick on that day of exam? will the questions be set much harder this year? will they input the wrong results when they compute our scores? even if i get good results, will i definately get a good job next time? even with this much uncertainty, people still work for it. how much more, should we work for the goal, for the place in heaven that will definately belong to us if we work for it? of course, getting to heaven is by faith and by grace, but we still have to work for it. you cannot expect to get to heaven if you do not refrain yourself from every sin in the world, right?

like preparing for exams, we are preparing for eternal life. it is not fun, it is sometimes tiring. sometimes we want to give up. but then, is it worth it? like failing for exams, sometimes people cry. we know we don't want to fail. we put so much effort for something 'small' like exams when compared to eternal life. we should also, put in a greater effort to walk the narrow way. when we lack strength, all we need to do is to pray and ask to be strengthened, to be encouraged, to be refreshed. that way, we won't pile up our stress and tiredness like what we do during exams when we do last minute work. chrisitianity, shouldn't be last minute. we would'nt know when we will die, or when is this world going to end. we have to be prepared at all times.

i know i don't want to fail my exams. and this life, is something like an exam. if we pass it, we get to heaven. if we fail, we get to go to hell. and i know i definately don't want to fail. what about you? even if you don't like it, even if you see other people enjoying themselves, will you walk the narrow way? will you work for it, for the eternal life and treasure that will never fade away? not that examinations in our real life is not important, but if we can work hard for something that worldly and with so much uncertainty, can't we also work much harder for something promised and something with perfect certainty?