About Christianity

'...enishi, i said before, it is futile. no matter how strong your attacks are, you cannot land a hit on me anymore...'

'so what? no matter what happens, i will only attack with all my heart. i don't need to defend! to defend, to protect, they are meaningless to me. because the only thing i want to protect, had already been... has already been taken away by you! that's why, i want to kill you! i swore, i will definately, definately... kill you with my own hands!'

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when i read until this part, again this conversation got stuck into my head. because it had quite a big impact. i guessed those who read it would feel the same way. the sentence above contained the most negative of human emotions one can experience - hatred and grief.

i may not have met many things, i may not have experienced a lot of different kinds of emotions, but i do know that these 2, hatred and grief can do a lot to a human. it can change an innocent and kind person to a heartless and cruel person. it can drive a happy person to depression and despair. and within the limits of my knowledge, i think these 2 are the most negative, as well as carrying the most impact. i don't know about you, but these 2 emotions, to me, they are the most powerful of the negative human emotions.

i think, as long as we are human, we do feel grief at one point or another. at one point or another, we hate. yes, hate is a strong word. in a certain sense, hate is stronger than love. hate is different from dislike, it is truly wanting the fall and the suffering of the other person. maybe you can say, if i hate a person, i would want him/her to go to hell, knowing myself that hell is the most scary place in all creation.

and when these 2 gets combined together, we can see like the story above it changed a person totally. depending on the situation and the level of hatred and grief, as well as the character of the person, the change in a person may vary. these 2 combinations of emotions are quite scary, don't you think?

have you experienced things like that before? i thought you might. i thought we all have, just that it depends on the level of hatred and grief we have. like the person above said, the thing he wanted to protect, which was actually his sister, was taken (killed) by the other person.

it is usually the things we want to protect that we failed at doing it, the things we cherished that people took it away, that we hate. be it a relationship (siblings, romantic, friendship...etc), career, money, dreams... there is no difference in the things you want to protect. just that, we all have things we cherish and want to protect. you have things like that, i have things like that, everyone has things like that. and when this precious thing get taken forcefully away from us, we hate, and we get sad.

this is natural. nobody would be happy seeing your cherished thing or person get taken away.

and when we feel hate, we know that most of the times we don't just sit and let things carry on. we want revenge. we do everything we can. and we do stupid things. because we stopped seeing every other thing. we only see the person we hate. maybe in your mind you would have replayed the scenario of you carrying out the act of revenge over and over again. and because hate is an intense emotion unlike dislike, what we think usually gets carried out in action. and most of the time, we disregard the consequences. it may be like, 'i don't care if i die. the most important thing is, you have to fall.'

does the above sounds familiar? i thought it might. because we are all humans, we feel the same thing. hate is based on instinct. and we all have the same instinct. to see the other person fall. it is only the process of carrying it out that is based on logic and personality. our common ground is, we want to see the other fall.

they say to hate is tiring. to a certain point, it is true. to hate means to give up a lot of things. to hate means to continually work for the fall of the other and the rise of us to ensure they never get up again.

what about to grief? for some unknown reason, the heart feels very pain. even though we may have a healthy heart, and the heart does not process emotions, it is the heart that feels pain instead of the brain. as if, no matter how many tears you cry you still cannot numb that heartache.

like hatred, grief can change the course of a person's path. everyone feels grief, again it is the level of grief that is different between humans. to some, they carry on walking. to some, they stop. to some, they changed a new path.

you ever met a person who got both hatred and grief at the same time? people usually have grief, and hatred. but that would be over 2 different things at 2 different times. but like the man above, it is very possible to feel both hatred and grief over the same matter at the same time. then, i thought, that man or woman became a very dangerous person. if left unattended, who knows what might happen?

as christians, we are not supposed to hate. but it is our nature. it is hard to give up hating. it is hard not to grief. to grief is not a sin. but to hate is. seems very unfair and hard, huh? but we are not alone. we have a God who feels for us. if we hate someone because of a wrong done to us, He will repay it for us.

Romans 12:17-19:

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: "It is mine to avenge, I will repay," says the Lord.

heex talk is simple right? you can't just ask people to give up hating just because someone quote the Scriptures. but i thought, maybe i will still say it.

God doesn't want us to take revenge not because we deserve to suffer. but because if we are in the wrong, then the suffering we have, we deserved them. but if we are not in the wrong, seeking revenge will end up screwing up our lives, like what i said above. so God will repay the person for us. because He knows what He is doing. so that we can continue to live our lives. and because God is just and fair, we can trust in Him that the punishment He gives is the correct one.

for the hurt we have, God will heal us. because He loves us. because He is with us. God takes care of us. our grief, our hate, He can take it away. grief and hate are part and parcel of life. they will help us grow, if we allow God to work in our lives. i thought, maybe i can say that because as a human too, i feel hate and i feel grief sometimes. maybe the intensity is not as great as you, but if a little hate and grief can screw up a person's life so much, then your great hate and grief will mess your path even further. you only have one life. don't screw it. God will walk with you if you allow Him.

so if today, if you hate and you are sad, ask God for help. if you know someone like that, pray for him, and help him as much as you can. because in our world where we can only see hate and sadness, there is a greater world out there filled with laughter and peace. i want to walk to that world, and i hope you can walk to that world too. because, that world of joy is the world fit for human living. not this world of hatred and depair.