About Christianity

in the past, commoners don't get to see the king whenever they want. we can always see on drama (chinese dramas especially) that sometimes people risk their life to get an audience with the king. seeing the king may sometimes involve risking their lives. people work and die for the king, yet they do not see the king.

queen esther in the Bible also risked her own life to see the king. when people risk their lives to see the king, it meant that a certain matter or situation had gone out of hand and that even if they die, they had to see the king. that was how difficult it was to see the king, how important the meaning attached to it.

for us christians, we are granted unlimited audience to the King too. not just the king of our country, but the King of all creation. to see a human king, one had to get through many troubles and levels of security. to see a human king sometimes means it is the honor of a commoner. for us, if we compare ourselves to the great God who created everything, we are less than a commoner.

we are a human in planet earth, which is in solar system, in the milky way, in a cluster of galaxies i don't know call what, in the universe, in the world which is part of all creation. we are less than a commoner. however, we are granted access to the great King with no strings attached. we don't need to risk our lives. we can always talk to Him whenever we felt like it. in fact He loves if we speak to Him. we can depend on our King when we have troubles... which other human kings do that?

and to have an audience with the king, all we need to do is to get down on our knees and pray. i don't know about you, but it seemed that people don't get on their knees when they pray. for me i do. well it depends on personal preference though. so to pray is easy. we can do it everyday, anytime, be it morning or day, anywhere, be it in the forest or out in the sea. we can pray together or alone. He will listen to us. how wonderful is that.

but the problem is, because this access had been given to us, we tend to take it for granted. what is a privilege will become a right after a long time. what had become a right will not be treasured. like how you might not treasure the freedom to vote. like how you might not treasure the freedom to get married to the person you like. because it is our right. we don't think too much of it. sometimes we even make a mockery out of it.

i admit, for me sometimes i don't pray properly. i did fell asleep while praying before. i got into repetitive and mechanical praying. if i am the king and my subject slept while talking to me, or that he keeps repeating the same thing over and over again as a routine, maybe i will just chop off his head. or will i?

praying for the same thing over and over again is not wrong, for the Bible encourage us so. but to keep on saying without understanding the meaning, only repeating the words, that is wrong. i mean you would have experienced that too right? after praying for a certain thing for a period of time, we tend to forget the meaning and get mechanical, like a machine programmed to repeat the same words every night before we go to sleep. that is wrong. that is insincere. maybe i have no right to say it, for i am like that too.

what i want to say is, prayer is an access and honor given to us. with it, we can ask for help. with it, we can communicate with the King of all creation. not the king of the nation, not the king of the world, not the king of universe. but the King of everything. this is a short post. so, if today you read this, maybe you would want to give prayer the reverence you should give. for prayer is like talking to God. and when we talk to the King, it is important that we give our proper respects. am i not right?

i had wanted to put up another post. but before i could put that, i came across something that changed my mind. i guess i would put it next time, after this post.

i was doing my quiet time when the material i used directed me to Exodus 16:1-5. well if you are lazy to flip open the Bible it is about the israelites complaining in the desert and said it would be better to die in egypt than to go out into the desert to starve. and the Lord said He would rain down bread from heaven, and the people are supposed to gather them to eat.

well, the Lord was speaking to me using that short story. of course when we read the Bible the Lord is telling us something, but this was something which directly affect the present moment of my life. well how do i put it?

actually i have responsibilies that i have to handle, yet i know i cannot do it. not that i don't want, just that my strength is not enough. well since it is a responsibilty, even if i don't want it, i still have to do it well. not that i am a very responsible person, but that the consequences of failure is somewhat disturbing.

anyway, since it was a set of responsibilties that only i alone can do, i could not get help from any other human. well not directly. and i have not gone around asking what i can do to better cope. oh well, the result of which is that i get very little sleep, and i am always very tired, and irritated, and frustrated. sometimes i even have to control myself so i will not flare up and throw tempers.

and so it goes on. and one day i thought, maybe i should just give up. i don't care about the consequences anymore. after weighing the benefits and cost, i thought there was really no point. i would just go through it, and i won't care. if things go bad, it is too bad for me since the results affect no other human except for me. it was so bad that if i have to say something, i guess it would be 'fuck the world'.

you might want to say something about me posting a swear word on a christian blog, but i see no difference between fuck and f**k since you would have known it and the intention to utter a word of profanity was there. the ** only serves as nothing but a nice wrapping for the vulgarities to make it more presentable and acceptable. in essence, the 2 words meant the same damn thing.

anyway, so the combination of the material i used for QT, the Bible verses, and God's own teaching to me was this: trust the Lord. like the israelites, who only gathered enough bread for one day everyday, except for the day before sabbath, trusted the Lord and depended on Him. they have no extra storage of food for tomorrow. tomorrow God will give them more food. like matthew 6:25-34 says, God will take care of us. do not worry about tomorrow.

so, in the end i concluded and learnt that i should depend on the Lord everyday. everyday receive a little of God's help. when the time comes, i guessed what will happen will happen. just like how the israelites have to go through the desert to the promised land, i guess i am heading towards some sort of promised land too, and i am in the desert. just that i hope the promised land i have in mind is not so far from the promised land intended from me. and that i will be obedient enough so i will actually reach the place intended for me instead of dying in the desert.

what's the moral of the story. some of you may have duties and responsibilties more than you can even take it. some of you have tried to the best of your ability and wanted to give up. i may not have the same committment as you, but i certainly know how it feels like to try hard, see no results and wanting to give up. but i guess God won't give you a responsibility so you can die alone. if you cannot handle it, ask for help.

i don't know about you. but when i realized that God actually tells me to trust in Him, i felt more peaceful. instead of just going through it and not caring about the results, i thought maybe i will do what i can and let Him decide the rest. of course, i still hope to get through it. and that i hope i won't fail (now that i have hope again). but if it is in the plan for me to fail so that i can get to another place, who am i to say anything?

the fact that the Lord of all creation personally tells you to trust in Him is actually very reassuring. it is not like a friend or some expert telling you to trust in him. because they are only humans. and humans have limits. i have a God who tells me to trust in Him, and He is the King who controls everything, He is the Lord that knows everything - past, present and future. so if He tells me to trust in Him, i would do that.

maybe you can say the only reason why i can say such a thing is because i have not met enough despair or hopelessness to totally lose faith in God. yeapx, you are right. that's why for now i can still have enough faith.

maybe you won't like me for saying this, but whether you like it or not, accept it or not, it does not change the fact that there is a God. despite wars and family violence, starvation and poverty, there is a God. i cannot explain why all these happen when God is in control, nor can i give an answer as to why there are so many tragedies in the world, but He is the King and He rules as He sees fit. and since He is the King and He asks me to trust and have faith, i will do that. that's why i said you might not like it when i say this. it sounds like hypocritical bullshit coming from a person who knows nothing at all.

i don't know what kind of life you have. but if you are not having any hope left, why not trying asking God to give you a little bread (help) each day as you walk across the desert which is your life for now? and when you walked far enough (in the correct direction of course) you would get to the new part of your life which is the promised land. but to do that, you will need to have enough faith and obedience. you wouldn't want to walk around in circles in the desert, let alone die there, right? or maybe you might get out of the desert, but if you did not reach the promised land, would you not have suffered the journey of the desert for nothing or for something less than what you could have gotten?

if there is anyone you should place your hopes on, why not try placing them on the King of all things? if you feel like, maybe you should just hope for one more time and work for one more time, why not hope in the Lord? because He doesn't give you the wrong kind of hope. because He knows what He is doing. and because He is in control. and most importantly, the King of all creation loves you very much.

a teenage boy was jumping off the top of the building. and as he fell another person jump out of the building too, to save him. the following conversation was also something i could not forget:

'why did you save me?'

'because if you die, everyone will be very sad.'

'in this city, who would be sad for someone like me, who don't even know his real name?'

'i will be sad for you, is that not enough?'

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is that familiar? again, this is taken from a story. one reason i love stories other than the fact it provides an escape to the reality we live in, is that authors, they really know how to write beautiful stories sometimes. which is also one of my goals, to write a beautiful story.

for the benefit to those who did not know about this particular story, the person who jumped out of the building to save that boy was his king. the king had jumped out to save his own man.

in our lives, we will make friends. some are temporary, some are longer. some are good friends. some are not.

there are those of us who make many friends. be it your looks, talents, characters etc, you have made friends wherever you go. some of us don't. wherever we go, people don't like us.

if there is a reason why you are an outcast, most probably the reason lies with you. the problem lying with you does not mean you are wrong. maybe the whole group is wrong. maybe you are wrong. well i am not here to talk about that. but what i can say is, most probably you will need to correct yourself to fit in. but if the group you are trying to fit in is up to no good, i suggest you remain an outcast.

because i don't like to talk to strangers, i made friends slower than most people. sometimes it happens that people all have friends and formed their own cliques, of course i am still alone. well i asked for it.

anyway, if you are alone, sometimes you looked at other people and you envy them. i guess friends are like shoes. you walk on the road you called life, or the chessboard you called life (which is of course not true, look at the post titled 'micromouse'. i explained that in detail), and sometimes it is hard to walk. with shoes, walking is easier. sometimes you feel you can keep on walking. without shoes, you get blisters, it is painful. it is hard and painful to walk, but it is not impossible to walk.

to those of you who don't have friends, be it because of others' prejudice or your own fault (at least correct it if you know it is your own fault), we sometimes imagine things. maybe if we die today, how many of the people we know (with the exception of our family) will cry for us? how many will be sad for us?

even if the whole world does not know you, even if the whole world does not feel sad for you, even if the whole world could do without you (erm for this it is almost true for everyone?), there is one who would feel sad for us. you guessed it. this is a christian blog. no matter how the topic spins, it always comes back to the same point.

yeapx, Jesus, our Lord, our King, our Friend will be sad for us. maybe i shall quote a Bible verse (first time i do that in this blog!). Isaiah 63:9: In all their distress he too was distressed, and the angel of his presence saved them. In his love and mercy he redeemed them; he lifted them up and carried them all the days of old.

Like the story, we have a King who feels sad for us, who cares for us. our King is not a King who rules over us like slaves. our King knows us. maybe if you think you have no friend in this world, always remember you still have a Friend who knows everything about you. even if you have a whole lot of friends to make people jealous, there are things which we don't tell them. we all have a side we don't want people to know.

our Friend, He knows everything, whether you tell Him or not. maybe one day when you are sad, you can confide in Him, since He already knows everything and there is nothing you can hide from Him. lying would be pointless anyway, and i cannot imagine lying to God. maybe He would answer you during your confiding, or maybe He would choose to listen to you first. either way, He is always there for you. you just need to call Him. of course He is not your genie.

to those who don't have friends, to those who are lonely, to those who will be alone in the future, maybe life would be really hard to walk. really really hard. maybe one day we will be really sad. sad to the point where we don't wish to live. feeling pain to the point we wish we could give up anything to be free from it. i thought, if at that point, my King said to me, 'I will be sad for you, is that not enough?', i thought, i might be able to go on. He is not a King who only knows how to talk, He will provide a way out. please don't hope that you will be declared innocent if you murder a person.

when we walk the road we called life, it is great to have friends. if however, we don't have, just do remember you have a Friend who is your King. i don't know about you, but if it is me, i think it is more than enough when He feels sad for me. the Bible already said, He do feel sad for you.