About Christianity

remember the famous paragraph on love?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

remember this? the famous paragraph all christians should know?

now, let us test ourselves and see how much godly love we have.

replace all love and its mention of it to I.

now we have this:

i am patient, i am kind. i do not envy, i do not boast, i am not proud. i am not rude, i am not self-seeking, i am not easily angered, i keep no record of wrongs. i do not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. i always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.

if you can with your conscience read the above without feeling uncomfortable, i applaud you. if you cannot, then where do you start feeling unconfortable? the part where you felt uncomfortable should be the part you need to work on.

nobody is perfect, we need to grow, and i think the above method can tell us where we need to grow. face your weakness, and grow in godly love.

so that one day, you can say the above, without feeling uncomfortable.

- the above message was plagarized and modified without permission from a pastor who spoke at my church.

Even though fate is fleeting
As long as you live
Life goes on
Eternally
To anywhere, as long as you're strong

Though I may die
As long as you live
Life goes on
Eternally
Continues to anywhere, as long as you're strong

---

is it nice? the above. well not written by me though. the woman, even when she was dying, was telling the man to have hope. to continue on living even when she is not around.

i had made a post before on the sudden death or departure (not neccessary death) of someone (see The Last Time He Saw Her). sometimes, fate is fleeting. well, fate. some believe, some do not. i don't believe fate controls everything though. maybe you can call it God's plan, luck, co-incidence, destiny... it mean the same darn thing. something beyond your control. to simplify it, we call it fate, since it fits in with the story as well.

as we all know, people do die. obviously. sometimes they die early, sometimes they die late. sometimes it is others who die, sometimes it is us. well, doesn't matter. someone is going. it is one thing to die, it is another to leave a heartbroken person behind. well, if you die and no one is sad, i guess you better start reflecting on your life.

haha i have discovered a contradiction. if you die and nobody is sad, then it doesn't really reflect well on you. but if you are a good guy and you die, people are sad for you. but then you wouldn't want people to be sad for you. oh well. this paragraph only serves to point out this irony.

you see, if we die, people do get sad. family, friends, lovers, children...etc. sometimes people cannot take it well. sometimes people cannot move on at the death of a loved one. it is not strange, right? especially if it is a sudden or horrible death. 911 incident, murder...etc. unexpected deaths. people usually find it harder to move on in such a case.

as long as you live, life goes on, eternally. to anywhere, as long as you are strong.

this woman, even when she was dying, was trying to console the man, and help him move on. even though she might die, she knew that the man's time was not up yet. she could not be with him, and he had to be alone. yet, life goes on.

literally, life goes on as long as the heart continues pumping. the brain may be dead, but as long as the heart is working, medically, you are living. but, living without a purpose, living in the past, living in grief, it is not really living. that's why the woman said, 'life goes on, eternally, to anywhere, as long as you are strong.'

as long as he is strong enough to stand, life goes on. he is not a living dead. a human with a path in front of him. he may be sad, but he can continue walking. as long as he is strong, life goes on, until it is his time to go. well the fact about life going on eternally in this case is exaggerated. since it is not reality. well eternal life do exist in heaven though.

both these 2 characters are very admirable aren't they. the guy is so much in love with the woman that he won't be able to go on as long as she died. but at the same time the woman knew, and asked him to move on. a selfless love, a sincere love and a genuine love. what am i saying? i think at 0100h in the morning my thinking is a bit messed.

*points at the clock* blame the time, not my incompetence at critical thinking at such a weird time.

back to the topic. a person's death is not end of the world. well maybe in a certain sense to you it is the end of the world. but you are still alive. and you are not dead. (they mean the same thing don't they? blame the time.)

it may be very hard to get up. so if you know someone who needs to get up, why not lend him a helping hand? if you are alone and you cannot get up, why not ask God for help? although He is our God, and our Lord, we can actually ask Him for help. because He is one who cares for us. if we are sad, He is sad. maybe, sometimes the way a person died made you wonder if there really is a God. this, i don't know how to say it to you. because i didn't lose anyone is a tragic manner that i would doubt God. but while i am still in this blissfully ignorant state, i can tell you that there is a God. maybe one day, if i doubt God, then i would need you to remind me of the same thing i am reminding you today.

life moves on. because she loves him, she didn't want him to be so sad he could not go forwards. similarly, you too right? if you die, you wouldn't want the ones who love you be so sad they could not move on. so, if you are the one living, you can be also sure the one who died wouldn't want you to be in such a state of grief for so long. because she loves you, and wouldn't want you to be like that. so, stand up and move forwards. and as you move forwards, you can take her memories together with you. as long as you remember her, she will always be there. at least, for once in your life, you have someone whom you love deeply. and for that, you have experienced the greatest human emotion of all.

so stand up. as long as you are strong, life goes on. to anywhere (well not neccessary true). even though fate is fleeting, but that period of short happiness would accompany you till the day you die. so, don't cry anymore. the road is still ahead of you. so, walk that road, walk forwards. just like the way she wanted you to.

'even so, i love you.'

---

this is what a guy said to another girl, despite the girl being 'unworthy' of his love. with just 5 simple words, the guy had expressed his deep love for the woman he wanted to be with.

the 3 words 'i love you' are easy to say. but add the 2 words in front 'even so', and many people cannot do it. funny how sometimes this is the extent of our love for others. i thought sometimes it is even easier to come up with the world's most flowery language than to add that 2 simple words in front.

i thought about the range of love a human could have. starting from lust superficial love, to normal love, to loving a person more important than your life etc...they are all variations of love. but dont you think sometimes these kind of love are still in a way...superficial sometimes? note i don't say all the time. just well... sometimes. or maybe a bit more often than sometimes.

we always love people when they are healthy, when they are well and everything is fine. but say your lover or whomever important to you is disabled, or maybe did something very wrong, or whatever you think of, we don't love the person anymore. or maybe we can even find her/him irritating. say if your parents get very sick and cannot take care of themselves anymore. say your boyfriend got involved in a car accident and got paralyzed. say your girlfriend gave birth to a child before she met you, or that she got raped. say your siblings got into (a very big) trouble (maybe lose a lot of money in the stock market?) and need your help.

at these times, what becomes of our love? i am not very experienced. but i observe people sometimes. and sometimes that's the end of their love. funny isn't it? i love you. only when you are healthy and well and when i enjoy being with you. yet when you have to bother me and i get no benefits from it, that's the end of our love. my love only extends up to the point where i don't need to give too much.

sometimes i think about it, and i am amused and at the same time appalled by the extent of our love. is that called love? i don't know. maybe superficial love, i guess. well i am not saying all humans are like that. don't get me wrong. but we all know there are many humans like that. will i be like that? i don't know. but i hope not.

'even so, i love you.' to me, saying these few words in the most messed up situation is much more beautiful than saying 'i love you' under the most romantic of conditions. well of course this applies to family and friends as well though. 'even so' implies that you didn't mind the past, or whatever problem the person has. because who you love is the person him/herself. of course it doesn't mean if the person you love is a drug addict you would tolerate him and continue to support his addiction.

we all have people whom we love. but that is because maybe they are healthy and well now? have you ever asked yourself, how deep is your love for that person? a little deep? very deep? this is a very hard question to answer isn't it? we always thought we know the extent of our love for a person, until when the test comes. and when that time comes, that 5 simple words becomes so hard to say. well, for you, only you know how much you love the other person.

even in marriage, when the vows were exchanged and you promised to be with each other through thick and thin, till death do you part, the vows sometimes are just taken as lightly as saying 'i do' when the person at the counter asked you if you want a cheeseburger. i am not going to talk about divorce, but don't you think it is amazing how people can forget their love so easily? a love that wants to be with each other till death gets burnt out over maybe quarrels, or something. of course there are valid reasons, such as adultery, home abuse, but not all the people are like that, right?

love is something... nice. amazing. whatever you call it. true love, that is. not lust. not superficial love. a sincere, genuine love.

today, if you ask yourself, of all the people you love, to how many of them can you say these words, 'even so, i love you.'?

i know God loves us. well they is no need to repeat myself again and again why we are not worthy of His love. but in the end, i know He still thinks, 'even so, i love you.'

so i thought, if you can honestly say to one whom you love that 5 simple words, then you have reached one of the most sincere and deepest love a human can go.

i bumped into my old classmate today, and because we had a little time at hand, we talked for a while. we talked about various things, and of course, about the past. and as we talked, the conversation steered to our personality.

he reminded me of the little personality test we used to play as a class activity during my pre-university days. he reminded me that i got the animal 'shark', which was supposed to mean i am a domineering person, someone who won't give way to others. actually, before the results were out, they already guessed which animal i would get.

to that i replied i was not domineering. and what he said was, 'you are. just that you try to hide it.' actually i know i am someone like that, and like he said, i tried to hide it. i had been trying to supress this trait for a very long time now. he said when you interact long enough with a person the characteristics of a person will show up.

do we always do that? i thought, yea we do. maybe not to people, but to God. we know we are sinful. and we know we cannot hide anything from God. but sometimes, naturally, as if it was not intentional, we still do that.

sometimes when we sin deliberately, we feel guilty. or maybe some of us don't, which mean you are in more trouble than the rest. and we sometimes do things to make up, as if that would help. maybe put in more effort in ministry, do more good deeds, do more quiet time...etc. as if by doing all these things we could cover up our sins, and hide our mistakes.

but in the end, we are only deceiving ourselves. a sin is a sin. we cannot hide it. and God knows everything. if we have a sin, we have to confess, pray for forgiveness and repent. it did not matter how many good deeds you did if you are still sinning deliberately. for all the good deeds and ministry work we did, our heart is still view-able to God.

then, why do we still try to hide it? maybe it is human tendency. maybe to hide it from ourselves. so we will forget the guilt and focus more on the satisfaction from all the 'holy' things we did. but is this even constructive? i thought not.

just like how i cannot hide my personality from my friend, we all cannot hide the state of our hearts from God. it is hard sometimes to face our sins. it is hard to talk about the embarrassing things we did. but, God already knew them all. so, why not you just confess? and come clean?

we are all humans. the mistake you made (which i hope is not too serious), would most likely be committed by another person before. for all we did, God still loves us. so, there will be no need to hide anything. and even if we want to hide, we cannot do so. because He knows everything. we cannot hide it.

so, let's stop trying various ways to hide our guilt, and face it openly.

this post is short. maybe i am too tired to think. or maybe lazy.

'abortion is wrong, immoral and absolutely forbidden in christianity.'

this is what many of you say. you can quote me a whole list of Bible verses, and come up with all the theories, to prove what you are saying is correct. oh well, this is not the point of today's post. actually, i do not think abortion is forbidden. but that, is also not the point. this is an endless debate. i am not going to change your opinion, and i am not going to tell you why i think abortion is not wrong. everyone is entitled to their own opinion.

at the end of the day, we just have to have an answer to God.

those against abortion will come up with phrases like murder, the fetus is a life...etc. actually, i want to say, for a woman who is pregnant, there is no need for you to tell her all these. i am not pregnant, and so i cannot say exactly what is it like. but i think, all mothers, all pregnant women would know what it means to abort a child.

so, when a woman aborts her baby, there is a reason. standard debate points in favor of abortion would be: rape victims, babies with disabilities, incest victims...etc. the list goes on. again, i am not going to argue whether it is wrong or not to abort a child.

what actually made me so pissed off is, the people whom i see who are strongly against abortion, they had no idea what they are actually saying. or maybe let me rephrase, they give no thought to the people they condemn, or criticize for abortion.

people abort babies for different reasons, and some of them are listed above. as we all know, abortion is a surgical process (i won't describe it here), and after which the body of the woman is damaged, slightly. in fact, it is a painful procedure. no woman would want to abort her baby happily, as far as i know.

'even if the baby is disabled, he is still a life.' 'even if the baby is the result of rape, you have to let her be born, because it would be wrong to abort it.'

for many of the people who say things like this, i always feel they are hypocrites. if you are one of them, i don't really care what you think. you can say your opinion in the comments section, but if you flame me or give non-constructive posts, i will just delete it away. to hell with free speech.

why do i say people like these are hypocrites? unless you experienced the same or similar situations like these people who want to take away their babies, you have no right to say such things. i help took care of my baby sister, and watched her grow up. i know how difficult it is to bring up one healthy baby. what if, the baby is retarded? or an unwanted baby? won't the mother be sad? won't the child suffer?

what do i want to say? people often throw laws at the people, without showing the tiniest bit of compassion and understanding. just because it is law (actually we don't even know if it is forbidden), people have to obey them, regardless of their suffering? if you say a woman have to give birth to a retarded child, would you help take care of the kid? obviously you won't. because you are not a saint. and because you have your own life to lead. so you only talk and say it is wrong, and leave the results of the birth of the baby to the mother, while you happily convinced yourself you did the right thing. is that it?

it is very easy to talk. i can also talk. in fact i can talk as if i am the holiest person on earth. who doesn't know how to talk? but, behind all our talks, where is the love and compassion expected of us christians? because we think it is law, we throw it out at the others, without even bothering to understand their pain? if that is the case, we would all go to hell. because it is law, we would go down to hell for all our sins. there would be no need for Christ to come.

because we were given compassion, that's why we can live on. but for many of us, we don't give others compassion. yes, maybe you can say compassion cannot make the baby healthy. compassion cannot reverse the time of conception. but, compassion can explore new ways to help the people. if at that time, Christ did not have compassion on us, He would not have offered to die for us. He could have just sent us all straight to hell. because of His compassion, a new way which was not available to us was opened. and He acted as a bridge between us and God.

when we throw out the laws at people, are we behaving like christians? 'christians should not abort babies.' we throw out a supposedly still debatable christian law, and talk like a christian. but do we act like one? do we speak as one who condemn, or as one who loves and is compassionate? Christ doesn't just talk about how He loves us. He proved it by His actions. similarly, we can talk all we want. but are we going to prove it?

if one day, you who condemn abortion, is raped or discovered your child is retarded or disabled (which for both cases i sincerely hope you don't meet this kind of situation), what are you going to do? throw yourself this 'chrisitan law'? or if others throw this law at you without showing the tinest bit of compassion, or a ton full of fake love, would you be angry and hurt?

in our attempt to keep all laws, do we forget the most important thing of all? love and compassion. in our bid to follow all these rules and regulations, have we become cold-hearted people who spare no thoughts for others? have we become, a worse hypocrite than what we usually are?

before i forget, like you, i am also one of the hypocrites. an insincere person who only knows how to talk. like what i always do on this blog. so if you are going to say what a hypocrite i am, there will be no need to do so. i understand it perfectly well myself. we are all just wallowing in that puddle of insincerity. the difference between us is, how deep are we sinking?