About Christianity

"In your anger do not sin": Do not let the sun go down while you are still angry, and do not give the devil a foothold.

i guess, this is the verse every christian would know, and a verse that even some of the non-christians would know.

literally, we can get what it means. not to be angry anymore by the end of the day, and in our anger do not do 'bad' things.

the usual explanation given for that, other than the fact that we might actually sin, was that if we remained angry with a person, or perhaps even hated a person, we would not be able to move forward, but get entangled in this mess of wrath that we are not supposed to be. we are supposed to be people who showed love to all, not to be so angry that we are unable to forgive others.

don't get me wrong. i am not saying that we cannot be angry. all humans would have experienced anger. all humans would have some wrong done to them, and would have done some wrong to others, be it intentional or unintentional. well, there has to be a time limit.

of course, as usual, it is easy to say that. but in the end, the standard argument goes that if we don't get out of that mess of anger and hatred, we are unable to move on and focus on the things that truly matters to us.

but then, i realized, that there is also another reason why we have to do that. i realized it only today. well, i supposed there are a lot of others who realized it much earlier than me, or perhaps i realized it long ago too. just that today, this idea got driven deep into my head.

that, for those whom we are angry with, or even hated, perhaps, things are not the way we actually perceived it to be.

i have read in stories, and experienced in real life, that sometimes, the very people we were angry with, or if we put it to the extreme, hated, were the very people who did what they did for us.

for this, let's put aside the method they used to accomplish something. every human acts differently, and every human has different personalities and characters. but sometimes, situation 'forces' them to do what they did. that is not to say their every action is to be justified.

i mentioned 2 times before, if anyone actually read every single of my blog posts, that i defined a hero as not simply someone who gave up a lot, perhaps even his or her own life for a glorious purpose or someone. i admit, these are acts that required a lot of sacrifice, and i respect them for the determination and resolution they have in order to protect or to achieve something. note: i do not approve of terrorism. i define a hero as someone who would willingly give up a lot, to protect or to achieve something (let us just pretend terrorism and all the bad deeds in this world doesn't exist) noble, even if it means the very people whom he wants to protect hate him.

to have the people you protected and helped hated you, yet still continued on until the purpose is achieved. to me, that is a hero.

leave room for God's wrath. we are not to take revenge. remember the verse?

why?

because in our anger we do foolish things. in revenge we lose the humanity and compassion we have. and lastly, in anger and revenge, we might end up hurting more those who actually might be on our side. i don't think there is anything else more painful than the fact that those you truly treasure enough to give up so much for ended up hating and being angry with you, to the point of taking revenge on you.

sometimes humans are honest, yet some are dishonest, to themselves. that for something they did for you, in order for you not to get burdened, they said it was for themselves or for other reasons. there are people who are easily misunderstood, because of the way they talk and carry themselves.

some of the acts we witnessed might really be unacceptable. yet, sometimes if we think about it, were they neccessary? perhaps not. but given the same situation, and the same resources given to us, what would we have done? would we have done it any differently?

God tells us not to take revenge, because we do not know the hearts of others. we may think that we know, but do we really know? do we really know and understand the full situation of what actually happened?

for example, i read it in a news article before, that not all terrorists died for their ideals. some of them, were too poor to feed their own family. to the extent that they had to sign up to 'die'. because if they completed their mission, their family would have received money and then would be able to survive.

supposed the parents did not want the little kids to know that for their sake, their father had died in the process of killing others, because it would be too much for the kids. yet the kids knew that their father was a terrorist, and found the act unacceptable. maybe they would be angry, or even hate their father. but, should it be this way? i admit, terrorism is unacceptable. but, given the same situation and the same resources, would you have done it any differently?

the above is just an example. i am sure you would have known many others.

sometimes we are really angry. and we hate someone for the things they done. but in the end, can we really say that we know and understand the whole situation, as well as a person's intention? so, if you can, forgive the person who made you angry, who hurt you. not only can you move forward, you might actually have avoided the slim chance of hurting the person who was on your side.

God knows the heart of all. let Him be the one who decides what to do. we are only humans. we have our part to play. and in our list of duties, judging others is definitely not anywhere among the sheet of responsibilities that we were given.

it had been a long time since anyone blogged here. the random section had been updated now and then, but it seems that over here it is an abandoned section. hahax. anyway, i am back.

just yesterday evening, i saw a person. well we see people everyday, just that this particular person i met, all of a sudden, she reminded me of the things and the people who are important to me (at least at one point of time in my life).

well, i set my personal passwords such that they remind me of the important things to me. so that when i key in my passwords everyday, or a few times each day, i am reminded of these important things that i do not want to forget.

yet her appearance in front of me, she reminded me once again of these important things which i am supposed to remember, yet did not do so.

you see, for the first few days, keying in the passwords reminded me of these very things which i do not want to forget. yet, like praying to God, after the first few times, it became routine and mechanical. i key in the complicated passwords easily and smoothly, my hands knowing which key to hit without me even trying to recall what it was.

and then, this password which is supposed to serve as a reminder lost its function. and this continued.

and like i said, yesterday after meeting this particular person which you definitely do not know, i am reminded of once again, what i have to treasure.

what do i want to say?

you see, what are the important things in your relationship with others, and ultimately to God? prayer, it is one of the most important thing that connects us to God. through it, we are granted audience to the most powerful God and King in all creation. through it, we communicate and improve our relationship with God. through it, we give thanks, and we beg for mercy, and we ask for help.

but prayers, we do it everyday, a few times each day sometimes, and like the way i key in my password, sometimes it becomes mechnical. i know a post like this was made sometime ago, but this is a little different. day after day we pray, and along the way, do we forget the importance and its relevance?

like, to enter msn, i key in my password. to enter my work station, i input my password. to access my bank account, i type in the password. to ask for help, i pray to God. to beg for mercy, i pray to God. to give thanks, i pray to God. but, have you forgotten what is the importance of prayer?

i mean, do we say thanks, beg for mercy, ask for help and then end it just like that? you are sincere about your request, your plead for mercy and your thanksgiving. you are not mechanical. yes, i believe that too. but, what is the actual meaning of the prayer? do you remember the importance, and what it really means? do you know you are talking to the most powerful King? do you understand the gravity of what you are doing? do you appreciate this chance that you have to talk to God? for some reason, maybe because i have not blogged for too long, my english and my expression gets a little stiff. but i hope you get what i mean.

this is the password. to gain access, i key in the password. but, what is the meaning of the password? to remind me of the important things i have. do you know what is the actual meaning of prayer?

not only prayer. prayer is only one example. the things you do everyday. has it become such a routine that you forgot what is the original purpose and function of this very thing you do? not only in your relationship with God, but your daily life, your bond with others, your dream, your work... everything.

what is important to you? doing it day after day, don't forget it. remember what is important and precious to you.

i am grateful to God, that i met her yesterday. because of her, i remembered something which i come in contact with everyday, yet forgot its meaning and importance.

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ok, i am sorry that you have to bear through such horrible english, with repetitive words and the lousy description and expression, as well as explanation. as you can see, it is a far cry from the previous posts. well i hope i can get back to track soon. haix.

remember the famous paragraph on love?

Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.

remember this? the famous paragraph all christians should know?

now, let us test ourselves and see how much godly love we have.

replace all love and its mention of it to I.

now we have this:

i am patient, i am kind. i do not envy, i do not boast, i am not proud. i am not rude, i am not self-seeking, i am not easily angered, i keep no record of wrongs. i do not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. i always protect, always trust, always hope, always persevere.

if you can with your conscience read the above without feeling uncomfortable, i applaud you. if you cannot, then where do you start feeling unconfortable? the part where you felt uncomfortable should be the part you need to work on.

nobody is perfect, we need to grow, and i think the above method can tell us where we need to grow. face your weakness, and grow in godly love.

so that one day, you can say the above, without feeling uncomfortable.

- the above message was plagarized and modified without permission from a pastor who spoke at my church.

so far i have did a lot of preaching which i myself don't do. and in many posts i have shared my knowledge about christianity which i thought may help. of course some were pretty lame. but i guess it was my mood at that time. well, that was an excuse for lousy writing.

i have not written for some time, and that is because a major event happened in my life. well, it was major, considering that i am just a spoilt human living in a decently and peaceful, blissful and happy environment. and yes, you can be 100% sure add another 200% confirmation that this paragraph is only an excuse as to why i did not blog for so long.

and oh yeah, you do know i lost my database right? so that many posts are lost.

ok let's start.

someone once told me before, that when we started off, we believe that God will solve our troubles and deliver us. which means, if we follow God and do what He said, our troubles will be gone. that is faith level 1. fair enough?

faith level 2: if you follow God and do what He says, you are going to get into trouble. of course, He is not going to ask you to commit murder, rape, robbery or whatever nonsense. it is just, that path you will be going will be hard.

3 years ago, i started walking a path that would turn out to be very hard. you should know by now, i don't talk anything important about my life on my blogs, but for this i am going to give a rough idea of how it was like. because, this is my testimony of my christian life. there will be little preaching. i talk about my life, and you evaluate your own.

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i always heard that God has planned everything, and that everything goes according to His will. it is one thing to know, but it is totally another to have experienced that in your own life, to see him working. for this particular thing, it took 3 years.

if the maturity of a human ranges from level 1 to 10, with 1 being absolutely immature, i guess i am at level 2 now. when i was at level 1, i thought, 'hey, that path is hard.'

i never would have thought that, God would lead me to that very path i thought was hard. at first, i did not know it was His will. i thought what many others thought: circumstances.

as i walked, it was difficult at first. but i managed to get used to it. i walked further, and it got just a little harder, and harder, and harder. i still did not know it. and one day, i was on the verge of collapse. not physically, but mentally. the kind of thing when you said, 'heh, i really don't care about anything anymore.'

well, maybe you are thinking that i am making a big fuss out of a small thing. but like i said, i am only at maturity level 2. so let me say what i want to say. at that time, i thought, why do i have to walk this road?

i saw some people around me complaining that a particular path they walked was hard. at that time, even though i did not say it, i thought, 'you have no idea how much i would give to be like you. don't complain for every tiny thing.' because, if his/her path difficulty level was at level 1, mine was already at level 2.

when everything was over, i had this realization. that a long long time ago, i looked and said, 'hey this path is hard!' how, did i make it so far? and the answer came to me. yeah, because God was there helping me all this time.

back to what i was saying, i was very tired at that time, when i found that this path that i was walking was simply crazy. there are some personal friends and closer friends of mine who knew exactly what i was doing. the comments i got were, 'crazy', 'extreme'. that gives you an idea i was doing no other sane humans were doing. i rephrase, i was doing what usually people do not do.

at that time, there was one more year to go. one more year and my normal life would be given back to me. i had already, put in 2 years of time, and effort, and i sacrificed a lot of things. and i mean, a lot, to me.

but that 3 years, one year harder than the next, was too much for me. by the time i realized it was God's plan, i was into the third year. late, huh? talk about being retarded.

retarded = me

i said, 'i want out'. i knew that choosing the 'out' option was easier. and i would sacrifice even more things. but at that time, i already knew i had reached my limit. by the second and a half year, i had already started to give up. but God made me stayed on track. at that time, it may seemed like, 'What the... (fill in the last word yourself)'.

but now, when i look back, it was mercy and grace from God.

half more year to go, i told God, 'choose for me. i cannot decide.'

and yeah, you guessed it, i was given the 'continue that road' option. and i thought: this last half year is going to be more tough than the rest of the 2.5 years i had gone through. and i really meant it. i had totally no idea how i was going to make it. i emphasize here, going ahead means only one thing: to throw in the rest of whatever i have. the stakes just rose again.

and yeah, you are thinking, what drama am i talking about? everything seems so dramatic. but this, is my life.

that act of continuing, i guess i was demonstrating fath level 2. knowing that walking down that path even more was going to be trouble, i still walked it because God asked me to. and yeah, i experienced a series of miracles. He sent people to help me. He gave me strength to continue. and, even the circumstances were in my favor.

and you are thinking now: didn't you say last time not to treat God as your genie?

yeah, i did say that. God is God, and not our genie. at that time i was really desperate, and God was the only one who could help me. and yeah, i asked him for what was good to have but not neccessary to have. i mean, although stakes were high, i won't die if i didn't make it.

maybe, i should reflect on myself for that.

and now, i made past that last half year. i have, successfully completed this past 3 years.

these were what i have sacrificed:
time
effort
got a lot of stress
3 years of enjoyment in exchange for 3 years of... (fill in the blanks. find something negative)

this are what i have gained:
important and close friends
increased faith
strength to go where others could not (and i dare to say this with conviction. out of 10, roughly only 1 or 2 can make it to where i am today. this, i dare to say. oh well, maybe i am just being cocky)

there are many other things i have gained, but these are what i can remember for now.

really, i never experienced that many miracles, went through so many ups and downs before. in the end, even though i envied many of the 'ordinary lives', perhaps, others are envious of me too.

i have a friend who works in a hospital as some sort of trainee doctor. and she sees many kinds of patients. she always tells me about her experience in the hospital. well we talk nearly every night, if we have the time. yeah, and so, there are happy stories, and there are sad stories. as for me, usually i am quite emotionally detached because i am not the one witnessing the events and well, i am not related to them in any way, even if they are suffering.

and if you want to call me heartless or what, you think again. are you really able to feel sad for someone you don't know? or is that sadness just an emotion you forced upon yourself so that society sees you as a compassionate human? whatever the case, it doesn't really affect me. well the point of this post is not this.

we always pray and ask God for the little and big things in our lives. from the passing of exams to getting a pay rise, from getting married to raising up a kid, from asking for healing of sickness all the way to the peace in middle east, we ask God for a ton of things. and always, we ask for good things. natually, who would ask for bad things? no sane human, according to my logic, would do such a thing.

but you know, life is not always smooth. the (little) tragedies in our lives, they do happen.

and what if, one day, we finally met with the (little) tragedies in our lives? why do i bracket the word little? because i know, for many of us, no matter how 'tragic' our lives are, it is still not counted as tragic. to some, what we have gone through may be a lot, but to others, like what i always say, they would gladly take over our position add 10 times the suffering. but nevertheles, it is still a tragedy to us. so it is up to you to say if your life is tragic.

today, the story was about a cute atheletic teenager, in a famous school, with a brigh future ahead, suffering a stroke and end up in hospital, and is suffering from cognition problems now. also, she cannot walk or talk properly now. imagine, that happens to us. then, what will you do?

honestly, i don't know what i will do. to accept the good things from God, we take it for granted sometimes, and sometimes we do show our gratitude and really appreciate it. but what if one day, God decided to bring us down? then, what will we do?

it is very nice to read an inspiring story such as that of joseph and job in The Holy Bible, but it is totally another thing to experience that ourselves. to lose what we have earned for, to see what we have gone. how will we feel?

maybe, then it will be a test of faith again. will we trust in God again? even though we know there is a God, will we still follow Him. i have a friend, who told me he believes in God and His existence, but that he would rather go to hell than to trust God again. will we, end up like my friend?

sometimes, life is really hard. honestly, if i am in the position of that teenage girl, i would rather die. suicide (don't come and talk to me about how it is wrong to suicide). and the problem now is, she doesn't even have the capability to suicide.

how great is our faith? sometimes we may think we will die for God if the time comes. dying is easy. serious. but living in a state worse than death? will you still keep your faith? you have to think carefully, and answer it.

somewhere along, i read a quote which goes something like, 'i do not pray that God will remove your burden. but i pray that God will give you enough strength to carry it.'

talk is easy, right? i think, all christians should ask ourselves this question. how far would you go to believe in God? no matter what happens? if that is really what you think and believe, good for you. for those like me who are unsure, i think, we can only pray and get in a deeper relationship with God. for me, i don't dare to say i will still believe, because, this kind of thing never happened to me before. and so, how will i react? i seriously don't know.

faith. this is one of the things we need to enter heaven. without it, we will definitely go down to hell. and now, what will you do to keep your faith? how far will you go and keep that faith? this is very important, now that (i assume) most of us are still in a blissful position, we can think what we can or will do if that situation ever comes. because, if you don't, and one day you find yourselves like that cute teenager who lost nearly everything, and if you lose your faith, then, what will happen to you?

losing faith at that time, let's not talk about going to hell. by losing faith, you have effectively thrown away the most effective support you can ever have, that is God. i know it is easy to talk, that's why i can talk so much.

one day, if ever you or me end up having a (little) tragedy in our lives, i hope, we can still keep our faith. because, i think, that is the one thing most important for you. at that time, perhaps the most important thing to do, is to keep your faith. so i hope, all readers of this post will be able to keep your faith no matter what happens.