About Christianity

'i don't understand. i don't understand at all. i don't know why i am doing all these.'

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sometimes, inevitably, we will hear such things, or perhaps say such things. and after saying such things, the person usually always comes up with his or her own answer.

'because it is neccessary.'

that's the answer. it doesn't feel right. there is nothing to be happy about. but still we do the things we need to do.

as long as we are humans, there are times when we felt trapped in a certain kind of situation, be it one or more. a middle-aged man trapped in a job which he cannot quit because he has a family to support. a student studying something he does not like, because that path he takes will give him many more opportunities in the future. a soldier in a war zone killing people, despite not liking it but for the sake of protecting his own land had no other choice.

there are many more examples. i am sure, that you are in one of the many examples, be it now or last time. as long as you are reading this, i take it as you are at least a teenager. not that i am discriminating against children. just that, children usually do not have the patience to do things like reading a boring blog like mine.

as humans, naturally we will try to find a way out. even if we do not like it, everyday we drag our feet walking this path that we had chosen, be it willingly or not. because we need to walk that path. so what do people usually do? sometimes they try to find joy in it, which is theoretically impossible for you, because if you could have done that, you would not be feeling this way. sometimes we complain. they say voicing out your unhappy thoughts help. or maybe you try to escape.

what do i do? i think i choose to escape. to where? maybe to the world of stories. as you know, i love to write and to read stories. as all those who are like me, you all know stories usually provide a reality that we can never get. it is a place for us to dream and to get detached from this reality that we usually felt so burdened of. i think, this kind of escape is kind of addictive. i find myself ditching my work to read stories, to read manga or to watch anime.

of course, this is a bad example. all humans need a place to destress. but doing it too much like me will end up neglecting the work. for example i have a 9 day school holiday. and today is the 8th day. i just found myself successfully wasting 8 days of my precious youth doing nothing but the following: read stories, watch anime, write stories.

as a result i have neglected my work. i don't even know what i am doing here blogging. i feel a need to waste time. waste my precious youth away. then when the time comes i will be desperate and try to bring myself back to where i should be in this real life.

as a christian, what should i do? i remember my pastor said something about that some time ago. but being a person with not very good memory, i had totally forgotten about it. so let me say it in my own way, in my own opinion. and as usual, you decide for yourself whether i am right or not.

you know, i think, for all our situations, God put us there. He has a purpose for us. so, if we are there, i think, we should do our best, and do what we should do. talk is easy, i know. i myself don't do it. instead of solving the pile of number theory questions i have on my table i am here blogging about wasting my life away.

anyway, we have to know why God wants us there. if you don't know, then you should pray. my experiences tell me if you pray long enough, sincerely enough, He will definitely answer you. and if you know why you are there, then try to complete what you have to do. maybe it is something insignificant as doing a boring job or studying all the funny math equations, but if this is what you should do, then we have to do it well. (i myself don't do it. haix.)

if you don't know, then you have to see your path step by step. the chinese have a saying which goes '船到橋頭自然直'. basically it means that when the time comes, things will sort out by itself. i certainly wish for that to happen. if i don't study, i wish a miracle will fall from the sky and grant me a pass or maybe a distinction for my exams. if i don't work, i hope at the end of the month my bank account will miraculously by the amount of my monthly (or even better, annual) pay.

i think, maybe in christianity, it just translates to: 'if you follow God, He will take care of you. and when the time comes, He will provide a way.' Yeapx, that's what i think it is. of course, you have to follow Him. sometimes we all feel so trapped in a situation. but all we need to do is to just follow God, and trust in Him. that is what it means to be a christian, i guess. if we cannot even believe in our God, i guess there is no one else we can rely on.

so, today when you read this, if you felt trapped, turn to God and seek His guidance. i don't know how it will turn out. but if you follow Him faithfully, when the time comes, it will work out according to His plan.

of course, as usual i am talking from the point of a normal human with normal problems. if your problems are so big that nobody else could understand, so painful that you think there is no God, then maybe my post is just a pile of useless words jumbled up together. but you know, if you are like that, i can only do 2 things for you. the first: to ask you to pray to God. the second: to pray for you. that's all i can do. afterall, a normal human can never understand the sufferings of a more-than-normal pain. but still, i hope you get the answer you are looking for.

now, should i do more integration or should i continue to write my story? for now, let me waste a few more minutes by checking through this blog one more time for any errors.