Maturity

probably, some of you may remember, that i am always amused at teenagers or young adults, who tried to act mature when they are not, and thought they were. this applies to both girls and boys, men and women. probably, the male population has another habit of trying to act cool and fail.

Follow up:

as we go on in our lives, we meet many people and see what they do. some of the actions are immature, some are. some are mature beyond their age, some are so darn immature you wonder when will they grow up. among my friends, i met young people who tried to act maturely when they are not (don't get me wrong, it is good that we all strive to act maturely), and older people intentionally acting immaturely over small things.

probably, we all have a childish side to us no matter how old we are. just that when we are a kid we tried to hide it, and when we are old enough we realized that how valuable it is to be able to act childishly and stupidly.

i realized one thing, that is probably humans can never be mature. because as a human with an average life expectancy of probably 80+ (at least over here in singapore), we are not given enough time to experience every single thing a human can.

if you are 30 years old and you fall in love for the first time, then you are the same as a 16 year old kid who has his first relationship. because we have no prior experience in handling it, you would make the same mistakes as that 16 year old. if you make the first friend ever at the grand age of 40, then you might behave like one kid who has just make a friend. of course, an adult cannot possibly act like a kid. but it does not mean that an adult or a person with an older age will act maturely in that specific area.

people become mature because of the things they experienced. if i have gone through this incident before, it helps me grow. if i experienced this event before, i become a little more wise. the only conclusion i can gather from this limited logic of mine is that no humans can be totally mature (of course with the exception of Jesus Christ, since i am a christian). one can be more mature than 1 person, than 2 people, than a group of humans, than the majority of mankind. but, in the end, it just proves that you are being more mature than most other people in most areas of your life. the fact that one did not go through everything a human can possibly experience means that in certain areas of his or her life, a very wise and mature person will still lose to another person in terms of maturity.

for me, i somehow always thought that because i have gone through a little bit more than my peers (that, probably i can say with confidence. although to another, possibly i am trying to act cool and fail), i am abit more mature than others, though i have never showed it. to many other people my actions and behavior are still kind of childish, because i intentionally let it be that way. because they are all small things with little consequences. because, i realized years ago, when i met my older friends, that the prvilege to act childishly and 'immaturely' is a valuable one, one that would go away from me very soon.

of course, i was always wrong. because recently another incident in my life just proved me how shallow-minded and how immature i had acted and thought. even though i knew all along what should be the correct way and thinking, for some reason i just could not bring myself to do it. and as such, i am still troubling over how to handle it.

people grow from experiences. this is such a cliche statement that it cannot be anymore cliche. no one is able to act more maturely than what he or she has experienced. we all draw from our pool of experiences and thinking. just like how a 40 year old man who fell in love for the first time would act somehow differently from a 16 year old, because though his love life at that point in time is 0, he has many other experiences such as dealing with people and such to aid him in his interaction with his girlfriend. but that could only help him limitedly, in the area of love he is still immature.

we all can never act more maturely than our pool of experiences. we can try, and tell ourselves we are more than that, but in the end when the real thing comes, we would just find ourselves to act immaturely. because, we may be able to deceive the whole world, but we can never lie to our own hearts straight in the face.

that is what i had found. this is what i had realized today.

so probably, whenever we meet a case that we cannot deal with maturely, probably, what we can do, is to ask for advice from people who have more experiences in that area. to try and act as maturely as we can, although in the end it probably is still not. probably, try to act in a way that we will not regret.

i don't know how bad of an advice this is. i am pretty sure i am giving a darn bad advice. so it might not be good to follow it. because, i am relatively immature compared to many of my friends too.