Thoughts Of A Graduating Student

finally, after so long, i have completed school. i should have completed my education 3 years ago, when i earned my degree. but for reasons which i had said before, i continued on and got a second degree.

Follow up:

throughout this school life of the second degree, i experienced many things. there were more ups and downs in this period compared to any other periods of my life. but i did not regret it. although i have grown much older now, there are things i have added into the collection of memories i now have.

like i said before in my previous posts, i have gained friends, and i have lost friends. friends that i have lost, i have not gained them back yet. probably never will. and this regret will be the biggest of my school life here.

as i studied for the last exam of my university life, i was very sick and tired of it. throughout the years, as one semester passed by again and again, i found myself getting more sick and tired of studying more and more easily. at the end of it, i was really tired, and could not bring myself to study on any longer. and so i have to admit i did not give my best. although i would say after doing the papers i could do it quite ok. this is not an excuse, but apparently my friends are also getting more and more sick and tired of the whole thing.

school is fun, and i still stand by that. but studying for exams are not, although i know all these memories will bring a smile back to my face one day. the grumbling of the incompetency of the lecturers, the complaints of the difficulty of the syllabus, the process of studying till falling asleep during exams and wake up again and falling asleep again, the laughter with your friends, the feel of heaven when you fall in love, the drop to the lowest pits when you broke up, everything and anything about school.. they are truly an irreplaceable experience that will change the way how we live our lives. if not, then you haven't grow up one bit.

and as i sat in the exam hall for my last exams, even though for almost every paper i could complete it before time, i stayed for the full length of the exam timing even as i watch others go off one by one and what was left at the end was nothing but an empty, quiet hall. the last time i would be in the school, taking exam in the hall. i want to enjoy that process, even though i have to admit it was quite boring and i was literally daydreaming throughout.

but perhaps the exam i could not forget was when i was in year 2 when i literally fell asleep in the middle of the exam even though i had not finished the paper, not knowing if i would wake up on time but assumed i would. and not once, but i fell asleep twice. because i could not really be bothered. but in the end i got the results i wanted. lol i am not trying to show off here, just that that particular exam really got imprinted into me.

friends, i made cool friends, bad friends, all many kinds of friends. these friends changed me, to be a better person, although i have to admit i am still a relatively immature person. i still remember before i went into this school and met my friends, i was a quiet person who could not be bothered to make new friends, and people literally have to spend time before i could be bothered to treat them like a friend. it's not drama, it's not that i am arrogant. but shit happens, and the shit which happened before made me like that.

but, i saw the sincerity of the people and i changed. and till today i still remember the little little things in my head, and i hope i won't forget them all. like one of them came all the way from one end of the lecture hall to my end to invite me to join his clique.

strange thing is as time slowly ticks towards the end, memories which i had forgotten long ago all came flooding back. and i became more sentimental. from the very first year to the last year, big things, small things, one by one they all came back. and as i write this post they are still coming back.

i always waited and hoped for the end of the exams and the coming of the holidays, knowing that the holidays would end and school would begin again. and that cycle will repeat till it stops at the far future. it will end, but not so fast. but as it slowly countdown towards the end, suddenly it does not feel that far anymore. and as this last exam slowly finishes, i know that this would be the last. there is at most just the short holiday before i found a new job. and that school will not begin again. the expectations that things will repeat themselves is over. i knew it would come. and i welcomed it. i knew i would miss it, and i thought i was prepared for it. but when it comes i felt... ahhh, so it really comes.

for a weird reason the sentimental feelings in me was overwhelming. i had, passed through another stage of my life and proceeded to the next one. just like the memories of primary and secondary school to me is now just a distant past which i remember fondly, so will this recent memories of my university life.

if i have to name another regret other than losing some of my more important friends (yes i treat them as important even though to them i am definitely not), it is the fact that my results are so bad i could not go on an overseas exchange. i really want to go to japan, as a student.

i went to tokyo just less than half a year ago, and though i still could remember the fun over the 5 days, i want to go there as a student. to enjoy life as a student, to interact and make friends with them, to go to many many places, to eat different kinds of food, to enjoy many different things. it is one of my biggest regret. perhaps on the same level as losing friends.

the next i could hope for is to go there to work. but knowing the working environment over there is a big turn-off. not that i am lazy, just that i don't want to spend my whole life working. not that i can get there easily if i wanted to.

later today i will be flying off to taiwan for my graduation trip. for some personal reasons i am not that excited about it. tomorrow this time i will be stepping on taiwan soil, and by right i should be full of excitement. but well... this is probably the last major fun i will have with my clique in school, though only half of it because the other half had not yet graduated (i sped up my schedule to graduate earlier by cramping more modules per semester). hopefully all will go well despite my personal feelings to the non-excitement of the trip.

and after this trip, my school life will officially come to a close.

i always see in tv, the dramatic and idealistic form of school life. nobuta wo produce from japan, dream high from korea... they all depicted friendship, wonderful experiences and dreams acted out by cool actors and pretty actresses. seeing all that on tv made people go: wow, i really wish my life is like that.

granted the people i know are not as pretty as ham eun jung and i am not as cool as yamashita tomohisa, but i guess in a way my school life is as dramatic as a tv script. and although i did not get a tv-like experience, but... i guessed i have lived out my university life.

and with that, my university life has come to an end. more shit will come in the future, and with that more laughter and more heartache. this is life. but as i look back on this chapter of my life, with all the regrets and laughter and sadness and everything in it, i guess i have done quite well.

and people would probably go wow at my life as i go wow at the life of those tv dramas.