Month: April 2019

Posting Out

Finally the time has come for me to move to another place to work. My time at the current location is up, and I have always thought I would go some time in May. But some time ago she told me that my posting will be in September, and the other location which wanted me had no news after that. And there I was naively, happily working, thinking that I was given more time on the clock.

I was eating a very late lunch at 1600h after work, my first meal of the day. I am supposed to be very hungry, but my boss Whatsapp’ed me, asking if I have any issue transferring to that location which I do not really wish to go in 2 weeks. To put it simply, I am in Area A. The place I am to go is in Area B, which I have a lot of issues and prejudice with, partly due to my own experience, partly due to my friends’ experience there.

And the biggest reason why I do not wish to go, is because I probably won’t get to see her much (if any) after I go. It pains me somehow. No, the word should not be pain. I felt a longing that I know I can never have. A longing that I should never have. A longing that I can only keep in my heart forever.

I Whatsapp’ed her today, in the hopes of asking if she has more information on that particular location in Area B. She did provide me with good information, although my main intention was to find an excuse to talk to her, and finally ask whether she will be ok to have dinner or ice-cream in the future, outside. My only reasonable hope of meeting her. I ended up thanking her of course, for her extra efforts to provide me all the useful information which my current boss did not even bother to.

And she was like sure (for the ice-cream and dinner).
She is of a higher rank than me, same rank as my direct superior. So perhaps when we are working together it may be not that appropriate to go out together?

To be honest I have a feeling she just treat me like some friendly colleague whom she does not think too much about. I know my place.

How ironic. How pathetic. That I have a wife who love me so much yet all I can think about recently is her.

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