Last Day

Yesterday was my last day in Area A, my current work location.

The day before I sold off all my gold possessions in preparation for my next investment. I thought of using that to talk to her, because she had found it interesting that I bought physical gold to put at home for investment. I talked to her at night, when the activities for the day were over. It was a longer chat than usual, albeit still a short one.

The next day was my last day at work with her in the same location. I went in earlier and saw her at the cafeteria before me. I told her I would see her for breakfast before I ended the chat the night before. I remembered when I first decided to go eat breakfast, which was already the last few weeks of my time in Area A, she came in quite late. Probably 10 minutes before we were supposed to report for duty. After that she came in earlier, and sometimes earlier than me. I was hoping that it was because of me she came earlier, but I guess it probably is just wishful thinking on my part. Perhaps on that very first day when I went in to eat breakfast she just happened to be late.

That last day I initiated a conversation with her over the workplace instant messenger, doing random chat. It was the first time I did that, as the previous conversations were all about work. Perhaps it was the last day, she chatted a bit more with me initially. As luck would not allow, she was soon busy with other things. And we were not able to talk until the end of the day when we were reporting off for duty.

During that short chat, when I mentioned that I would be on a different shift as her, and that there would be no more chat buddies next time, she mentioned that next time it will be chatting over meals out or ice-cream. Last post I mentioned about not knowing whether she would be up for meals or not, so I took the opportunity to ask her if she is actually ok with it. I told her if she was not comfortable or feel awkward with it, feel free to let me know. She said she was ok with it, and she would bring me to the nice ice-cream place which she told me about.

And that answered my question. I was happy.

Side note:
My own staff has been telling me how much they liked me haha. Of course I told them to let me know what are my flaws too when working under me. These are the 2 flaws:
1. When I am unhappy, I show it on my face quite apparently and it made my subordinates wary of approaching me.
2. I get triggered by other people too easily (not at staff) and often lashed out at others (not at my colleagues too, but by the people I have to deal with everyday).

I need to change these 2 aspects of me. Although the first problem may not be so easy. I am seldom unhappy at work though. The past few weeks all my unhappiness was because I knew I would not be able to see and talk to her that often anymore when I get posted to Area B.

And there were also one colleague who just joined, who told me I would do well in the new place. When asked why, he told me he had observed how I did my work, and felt I could do well.

Overall, today was as good as I could hope for. Parting was sad for me, mainly because of her. But as it is, she had made known she is ok to come out, and my staff gave me a good but very very simple farewell. I was satisfied.

I wish I could talk more with her, get closer to her. But I guess, such is the frustration of life. Big Boss had given me extra time to build the connecting bridge with her, to slowly accept that I have to go. That even if I do not go, sooner or later she would be posted out too.

I am thankful. And I am frustrated. But I really am grateful.

Posted by pencil-leads

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