10 years ago I went to the North-Eastern part of China to attend a friend’s wedding and experienced a series of culture differences.
Wedding Culture Differences
First off, the wedding banquet was in the day, which by itself is not surprising because I have seen it in Singapore. But in Singapore evening banquets take place more often and the only reason why Singaporeans have banquets in the day is because either the evening slots are all taken up and/or the day slots are cheaper. But apparently in China, people who marry for the first time have banquets in the day, and re-married couples will have banquets in the evenings.
Secondly, when the banquet started, the first dish came. But before I could finish eating, the second, third, fourth dish came out and before long, the whole table was full of plates and food. I was mildly irritated and was asking why the waiter was in such a hurry? Couldn’t she wait for us to finish the first dish before putting out the second one? That was because in Singapore, the dishes come out one at a time, and people are given more than enough time to finish eating that particular dish before the next dish was set out. In China, they put out everything at one go and everyone could pick and choose what they like to eat.
Lastly, after the banquet, I went to my friend’s father’s house. I had no idea why we did that, but that was what happened. The friend’s father asked me if I drank baijiu (白酒), and I said yes. But when he took out bowls instead of glasses, I went full ‘wtf’ and realised I made an understanding error. I suddenly remembered that unlike Singapore where ‘baijiu’ refers to white wine, in China it refers to their hard liquor. That was the first time I saw a young Chinese lady drinking many bowls and could walk straight at the end. I could not even finish a bowl. I could drink whisky or tequila at that time, but not baijiu. I can do it now though.
The above are just few examples of small cultural misunderstanding which has no harm or negative impact in my life or decision-making. But a lack of cultural understanding on more important decisions could lead to unmet expectations and many disappointments, or even a period of life or investment gone wrong.
What are the more impactful decisions as an ordinary commonfolk we make when it comes to dealing with another country?
- Investing in that country’s stock market.
- Doing business in or with that country.
- Going aboard to that place to work / study.
Every country and race / tribe has their own extraordinary strength and critical flaw, some of which makes us tear our hair and stomp our feet in anger and exasperation, but if you position yourself well in accordance to your character, you may find that the strengths the other party has may be just what you need and you are able to deal with or avoid their flaws. A ‘good country’ in the eyes of one may not be so in the eyes of another. A ‘bad country’ for a person may actually be the ideal one for another. One cannot just blindly follow what the ‘whole world’ says, but to look hard at oneself and to ask, what kind of country is suitable for me? If one does not take the effort to get to know himself and the country he is dealing with, there may be consequences that one is unprepared for.
Let me quote a few examples objectively, without prejudice or judgment.
To Work
Singapore is a country with a reputation of being great for earning money but not for living. The Singapore Dollar is strong and bigger than many currencies, the salary is higher compared to many places and therefore the efficiency of earning money is far greater than many places. Singapore is a place with many opportunities, a place where if you are willing to slog it out, you can earn much money. But at the same time the cost of living is right at the top of the world. For the ordinary person, if one intends to work here as a foreigner and save up sufficiently enough to bring home, one has to sacrifice many of the small everyday comforts of life and be on a very tight spending discipline, failing which one may find that he or she works in Singapore for a few years and end up with little.
One of the cultural aspects of Singapore which many find it difficult to accept is of our sense of boundaries, which some called it ‘coldness’. Many foreigners have claimed that Singaporeans are cold towards one another, and do not feel warmth coming from us. But on the flip side, Singaporeans have a very strong sense of boundary. Do not cross over my boundary, do not interfere and poke into my private matters. Do not make your problem into my problem. In certain societies where every relative and friend could have a say or influence in how you run your life, and where you have to spend much effort to maintain social relationships, perhaps certain people find that the Singapore way is easier. Of course, when you need help, do remember that many people do not want you to make your problem into their problem.
Also, forget about freedom while in Singapore. The penalty of not following the rules and regulations here may sometimes be harsh. Money or freedom, choose one.
So if you are the type who is willing to sacrifice 10 years of your life to flip things over and one that values privacy over a warm network of social relationships, then Singapore is a great place for you. Else, you are probably going to feel like you are like a lone soldier left to live and die by his own in this cold harsh world.
To Live
New Zealand is a very nice country. Rustic scenery, sometimes dubbed as Earth’s last clean place. Driving around in forest trails and seeing rabbits hopping, noticing the smell of fruits in the summar air and eating french fries while looking up at the stars is but a normal occurence in New Zealand. Far out in the corner of the Earth, it has a peace undisturbed by the rest of the world.
They have minerals which they do not want to mine because it is harmful for the environment. They have a big piece of land for a small population, and hence an abundance of resources compared to Singapore. In fact, it is the exact opposite of Singapore, and that causes the total opposite in terms of culture. If Singapore is a country where people slave for money, then use money to solve daily life’s various problems such as fixing a car, calling for a plumber etc, then New Zealand is a country where people prefers to solve these daily life’s little problems on their own.
The fact that they have resources but refuses to mine shows that money and economic development is not their top priority, and that living the good life is supposed to be above financial gains. I have lived and worked in New Zealand for a period, and indeed it is truly opposite with respect to Singapore in every aspect. I once tried to place an order of goods with a farm, only to be told that they have completed their production quota for the season, and they are not looking to take any more orders. In most other societies, nobody would reject more money making opportunity. Similar to Australia, in their daily life, the shops will close during after office hours, weekends and public holidays. The only shops you see opening are opened by the Chinese and Indians, occasionally the Japanese and the Koreans.
And if you are doing business or even working with them, you got to be careful. They have little planning and foresight, and they do business as if they are playing house. Again, I emphasise this is not a degradatory remark, but rather a neutrally objective assessment without prejudice. You just have got to be prepared for hiccups which can be foreseen and prevented early on but not acted upon. On the other hand, New Zealanders are definitely friendly people. I would say the type that can be friends, not not business partners nor colleagues.
A nice place to live in for some, but not for earning money or carving out a career.
Again, every individual is different. There are some who simply likes the convenience of living and to be able to shop, eat and play within a radius of their house. In that case, perhaps Japan is suitable.
To Invest
US, the land of the free. The nation where the big corporations run the show and the country where capital is greater than human lives. They have the most advanced capital markets in the world. Bonds, options, futures, ETFs of various kinds and index of every kind. Nowhere else in Middle Earth you see a greater and more comprehensive capital market like them. They are the very best and at the very top.
It is a place where capital controls everything and suppresses the people, where citizens can work 3 odd jobs and leave nothing behind at the end of every month. Druggies combed the streets and the government run controlled centres to inject drugs into their own citizens for the sake of capital. For the sake of freedom people can take a gun and roam the streets, but at the same time one can cut down someone who trespasses into your house.
Freedom. Freedom of speech. Freedom of religion. Freedon of speech. Freedon of the press. Freedom of assembly. The right to petition. Sounds familiar? It is the five freedoms of the First Amendment.
Freedom, or liberty, is the foundation upon which the nation is built. And it is on that the US grew to where it is today. It is on that we have the free market. The big corporations clamped down on the people. And what if we cannot beat them? We join them. Invest in this evil corrupted corporates.
But the volatility of the free market is not for everyone. The President (Donald Trump) has no qualms to manipulate the stock and crypto market himself and members of the Congress (eg Nancy Pelosi) openly do insider trading. What happens if one wants to have a stable investment without all the drama? Perhaps one actually could have consider China A shares with their government’s ‘invisible hand’ where they cushion the market in a free fall and dampen the price in cases of mindless frenzies, all to stabilise and calm down the market. Which of the market is more suitable is again dependent on the individual.
For Second Chances
People make mistakes. Sometimes it leads to imprisonment and an unglamourous record which affects your future in your home country. You want to restart, but have no idea where. Thailand is a place with many different visas and one which does not bother about criminal records. One can restart his life there. It is not a developed place, and a foreigner trying to make out a second life there got to be a little street smart, but the flexibility it offers may just be the right environment for certain people to thrive. But for people who are fixated on order and the proper way of doing things, perhaps it may not be the best place to live in.
Conclusion
There are many more countries and examples I could name and contrast, but you get the gist. Every one of us has a different personality. And countries, which are a collective of people, also has their own unique traits, some of which we can accept readily, some of which we reject wholeheartedly. There is no point cursing and swearing when things do not go your way, although I do that all the time. But logically, be it for work, for business or for investment, one should choose a country that fits his or her own character.
One man’s meat is another man’s poison.
10年前，我去中國東北參加一個朋友的婚禮，然後體驗了一系列的文化不同。
婚禮文化差異
首先，婚宴是白天舉行的。這在新加坡也不稀奇，但新加坡主要是晚宴為主。選擇在白天舉行婚宴的大多都是因為晚宴被其他人訂滿了，或者就是為了圖便宜。去了中國才知道，原來第一次結婚是白天，二婚才是晚宴。
婚宴開始後，服務員上了第一道菜。我們開始吃。1分鐘後，第二道菜就上了。然後第三，四，五道菜。當時我還有點不耐煩，問了下怎麼那服務員那麼急，不會等我們吃完第一道菜再上第二道？那是因為在新加坡，婚宴的菜都是上一道，給大家時間吃完，再上第二道。但在中國，是全部一起上，然後大家就這麼吃。
婚宴結束後，我跟著一些人去了新娘子父親的家。其實到今天我也不知道為什麼我們跑去他的家。不過我記得朋友父親問我喝不喝白酒。在新加坡，白酒就是白葡萄酒。就和我們說紅(葡萄)酒一樣。我點了頭說，我喝。大叔很高興，然後拿出來了幾個碗。當時我想，大叔你拿碗作甚？看到他拿出中國白酒後，我心想“毀了”，他說的白酒是這個！那是我第一次見到一個東北小姐姐喝了很多碗酒，最後走路還能走直的。我半碗都沒喝下去。那時的我能喝洋酒，但是白酒就是喝不進，覺得很沖。不過現在能喝了。
以上不過是生活上，無關痛癢的文化差異。去了個婚宴，學習了新東西。但是，如果我們不了解他國的文化，便貿然的做一些決定，例如去另一個國家生活，打工，做生意，投資的話，有時候文化差異會讓我們有意想不到的失望和不達標的預期。
每個國家和民族都有自己越於他人的長處，同時也有讓他人抓狂的重大缺陷。但是如果能根據自己的性格擺對自己的位置，或許你能發現對方的長處正是你需要的，同時也能避開或接受他們的短板。國家的‘好壞’因人而異。我們都必須看清自己，然後思考哪個國家是適合我去‘打交道’的。如果不花這心思，在做出決定後，有可能會有意想不到的後果。
讓我們來中立的，毫無偏見的探討幾個例子。
打工賺錢
新加坡是個很好賺錢但不好生活的地方。新幣比很多國家的貨幣還強大，薪水也比很多國家高，代表著在新加坡賺錢效率遠遠高過其他地方。新加坡是個遍地機會的地方，只要肯拼，就能賺到很多錢。但同時新加坡的成活成本是全球最高。對一個普通人來說，如果要來新加坡工作並且存到足夠的錢帶回家，那就得犧牲許多日常的小確幸，嚴格把控好自己的花銷，不然工作幾年後，會發現沒存下多少錢。
一個很多外國人難以接受的新加坡文化就是我們的邊界感。在許多外國人眼裡，新加坡人都很冷漠無情，從新加坡感覺不出一絲溫暖。但從另一方面看，這較強的邊界感會防止別人插手自己的私生活。不要問我薪水多少，我是否結婚生孩子不關你的事，管好你自己的事就行，不要把你的問題變成我的問題。在一些集體社會，常會有親朋好友對你的生活決定指點或批判，還得花很多心思維持關係。在新加坡這些就都不是個事。是好是壞，因人而異，純粹看你性格。當然，在新加坡，哪天你需要別人幫忙時，也就會發現或許你不該把你的問題變成他人的問題。
要在新加坡工作，就把自由拋去一邊。這裡的規則非常嚴謹，踩了一點線就會發現代價非常大。金錢和自由，選一個。
所以如果你是那種願意犧牲10年來翻身(我就是)，把個人隱私放在溫暖的人際圈之上的人,那或許新加坡非常適合你。如果不是，你在新加坡的日子或許會讓你覺得你是一個在這冷漠世界，自生自滅，孤軍奮戰的人。
生活
紐西蘭是一個非常美好的國家。譽為地球最後一片淨土，它有很美麗的風景。在林間小徑開著車，能看見跳躍的兔子，夏天的時候能聞到空氣中果實的味道，晚上吃著薯條看著夜空的星星不過是紐西蘭一個在普通不過的場景。在地球的一個角落，紐西蘭有個與世隔絕的寧靜。
紐西蘭有礦但為了保護環境而選擇不開採。他們是個地大人少的國家，和新加坡截然相反，是個資源豐厚的國家。這也導致了兩國的徹底相反的文化。若說新加坡是個為錢賣命，然後拿著錢去解決日常各種問題(修車，水管等等)的國度，那麼紐西蘭是個不花錢自己解決這些問題的社會。
單憑紐西蘭有資源但不開採，說明了金錢和經濟發展不是他們的優先考慮。過個好日子比賺錢更重要。我曾經在紐西蘭住過一段時間，可以明顯感受到和新加坡各個方面是截然不同。我曾經為了我的生意試圖和那裡的一家農場下單，卻被告知他們的產量已達到，並已經休息了，即便有餘地也沒打算接我的訂單。在很多其他國家，這種思路是絕對不會出現的。和澳洲一樣，到了晚上，街上的商店都打烊了。晚上，週末，假日時營業的店要嘛是中國人，要嘛是印度人，偶爾出現個韓國或日本人。
而如果你想要和他們做生意甚至為他們工作，就要擔心點。他們沒有多少規劃和遠見，做生意就像過家家。這不是吐槽他們的話，而是中立的，沒偏見的敘述事實。和他們打交道，就得有心理準備面對許多早期很明顯且可避免，但沒有解決的問題。另一方面，紐西蘭人都挺友善的，是那種可以做朋友但是不能一起共事的群體。
對於有些人來說，紐西蘭是個適合居住，但不適合闖出一番成績的地方。當然，每個人是不一樣的。有些人就喜歡居住在方便，能購物玩樂的地方。那麼可能相較於紐西蘭，日本會是個更好的選擇。
投資
美國，自由之國。一個大企業控制一切，資本大過人命的地方。他們有著全球最發達的資本市場 – 債券，期權，期貨，ETF，各種指數等等。沒有別的地方有比他們更完善更強大的資本市場。他們是最頂尖的。
在這個資本控制和壓制一切的地方，我們能看見國民打3份工卻仍然在貧困線之下。隨處可見的癮君子也可以去政府運營的中心打一劑毒品。為了資本，政府竟然辦毒品中心讓自己的子民去打！在自由的光環下，人們可以帶著槍在街上跑，同時你也能把闖入你住宅的人毫不留情地砍下。
自由。言論自由。宗教信仰自由。新聞自由。機會自由。請願自由。
自由，美國立國的基礎，並使得美國成長到今天的強大，也帶領了我們有今天的自由市場。但大企業卻毫不留情的壓榨百姓。但對於我來說，若不能打敗他們，那我便加入他們 – 投資這些賺著血肉饅頭的大企業。
但美股的動蕩也不是每個人能承受得住的。總統(川普)能沒有顧慮的操作股市，眾議院成員(佩洛西)能肆無忌憚的搞內幕交易。如果要有穩定的投資呢？或許可以考慮中國A股。國家有支看不見的手，在股價大跌的時候幫忙兜底，在瘋狂期間潑一些冷水讓大家冷靜些。哪一個更適合，又是因人而異。
重新開始
是人都會犯錯。有時這錯誤導致一個刑期，一個不光彩的記錄和一個在自己國家斷送未來的結果。你想要開始，但不知道從何而起。泰國是一個不管犯罪記錄且有各種不同的簽證的國家。一個犯過錯的人可以在那裡重新開始。泰國不發達，所以要在那裡混下的外國人必須要有點社會經驗，但泰國提供的靈活度或許對有些人來說是個很好發展的地方。對執著於規矩的人來說，泰國或許不是個好地方。
結論
我還有很多國家和例子可拿出做對比，但大體就是這個意思。我們每個人都有自己的個性。而國家，作為人群的集體，也是有自己的特質，有些我們欣然接受，有些我們果斷拒絕。事情不順你意的時候，沒必要抱怨(雖然我時常那麼做)。不管是要生活，打工，做生意還是投資，只需要理智的選一個適合你自己性格的國家。
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