In the very early days, certain societies were matriarchal in nature. Women held more power than men. As time goes by, women were suppressed and today, women are finally equal to men in the eyes of the law with some exceptions in various parts of the world.
One unverified but interesting theory suggests that it is due to a shift in production capabilities and importance. In the very early days, the human population was small and people die easily. Women held more power as they had the ability to do what the men cannot – giving birth. If your village or clan is small, you are easily wiped out. Surnames were taken from mothers instead of fathers. As mankind progressed and grew in population, labour intensive jobs such as farming were given more weight as population has reached critical mass. Women were then suppressed and treated as tools, simply because they were unable to produce as much as the men due to their weaker physical strength. It has now become their duty to produce children, failing which they would be condemned. As we progressed to the modern days, production once again shifted from raw strength to brain power or soft skills, in which both men and women can compete equally. Hence women were once again given more rights. This theory quite lines up with what we had said in earlier articles – production determines power and the system we have today is there to serve a purpose. Just like how it was not by compassion slavery was aborted, but because it is far cheaper to have salaried workers. But this is another long article which we will not talk about today.
The article today is not referring to the whole female population, but a very specific group of women who are living in their own delusions. The intention of this article is to let them see the truth for what it is before all is too late. I have noticed that recently my follower count has dropped, probably due to the relatively harsh content of my blog. It is easy to write feel good fairytales with happy endings, and doing that will mean more popularity for me at my readers’ expense. But for those who wants to treat life seriously, I hope what I write is useful to you. I know people generally do not like what I write. But it does not matter even though I have a heart made of glass.
Today the feminism movement has spread across the world. While I do believe that women should have equal legal rights and opportunities in education, health care, job opportunities, housing and all things essential, at times people take it too far. And that becomes the poison which killed off the women without them knowing it.
Feminism has turned into a tool to enclose women in a bubble stuffed with all their unreasonable demands and unrealistic expectations.
For example, it is now offensive to criticize women for being fat and having a lack of proper grooming. Every women is beautiful in their own way and we should not be so superficial and judgmental. Yet whenever a woman puts in the effort to transform herself in her grooming and by slimming down, other women cheered for her with “You go girl!”. They know that a slimmed down and well-dressed lady is physically more appealing, and yet if one comments that a 100kg hippopotamus is fat, it is offensive. At the same time, if a man dared to say: “All men are equally capable regardless of earning power”, you can be sure that man is an unambitious loser which even a tub of lard would look down upon.
As society evolves, so will our media. From Taiwan romance drama to Korean TV shows, one familiar plot is this: That the young, handsome and rich CEO of some big company will fall in love with an average girl despite having a far more capable, smart, pretty and sexy childhood friend who loves him more than anyone. Coincidentally, this childhood friend is always the evil character. No matter how much this average girl messes things up, the Prince Charming will always be there for her, defending her unconditionally and even going against the world for her.
Such story plots keep on repeating for one simple reason – there is a demand. Just like how men fantasise at the Hub.
In fact there are even multiple toxic articles floating around such as: “If a man does not spend money on you, he does not love you” or “Why you should spend your husband’s money”.
Realistically speaking, young men do not become CEOs. It is easy to set up a one-man company and call yourself a CEO, but these people do not have any financial power nor influence. Those who have, come from a rich background and it is improbable they will find an average girl attractive enough for marriage. Simply because their world is so vastly different that it makes communication difficult. They will only play with the physically appealing girls but never marry them.
While most are intelligent enough to know the dramas is a fantasy, but one whole generation has been poisoned. While it is natural for a lady to expect a man to be more capable than her, many of them have unrealistic demands. On one hand, ladies expect equality and have the exact same education and job opportunities as men. Yet on the other hand, they expect these men who are on an equal platform to be far better providers than themselves. This result in one thing – that they cannot accept those with equal or lower earning power, and can only look up to older men who have been working for a longer period of time. Often times, even if they found one to their liking, rather than being in a mutual partnership, they attempt to have the higher authority in the marriage and the household. Toxic article “Why your man should pamper you unconditionally” comes up.
The above can be summarised in one line: The demand for equal rights, opportunities and benefits but not expecting equal responsibilities and competency.
Men are not stupid too. A decent man will definitely still aim (while not necessarily achieving) to be slightly more capable than a woman, simply because it is their innate pride and ego to be more capable as the head of the household. However men want a woman who is willing to work together with him towards a common goal, or at least the understanding that while they may not be well-off, the man will do what he can to provide for the family.
An average woman will generally have people who chase after her in her younger days. It is during this time that women generally choose the best guy out of the lot. This gives many a certain perception that they have a perpetual high market value. As such, when high expectations and continuous choosing did not get her the man she wants, or when she finally had enough partying and sex and just wants to find a guy to settle down, many times they realise that they have been left on the shelf. Just because they had multiple partners chasing after them at one point in time does not mean that when they feel like settling down they will get easily get someone to do that.
If a woman has a mentality that she does not need to contribute in a relationship, or that she should be the higher authority in the marriage, then they are in a very dangerous situation. Men are not going to be a free lifetime ATM for you just because you are pretty for a maximum of 20 years of your life. Neither will they be a hero and take the spent and leftover plaything of other playboys. To put things in a very crude and offensive manner, if a woman only knows how to demand and spend money, it is far more economical and emotionally stress-free to call for a prostitute 2 times every week. At least men still get to choose different and forever young ladies out to please them, all with zero commitment.
The 30s is an awkward age to pursue a relationship and marriage. Those who have the higher earning power are generally unwilling to settle for lesser. Younger guys are definitely out, and older available guys either are divorcees or have their own issues. Going for divorcees is generally a no-go for them, and that further narrows down the available pool they can choose from.
Their pride does not allow them to lower their expectations too much. In the 30s, the gap between each other starts to show. Capable men would rather go for a younger lady, and the average men can feel the lingering ego of these women. In the end these women find out the hard way that decent capable men who fit their expectations were paired with other good women who worked with them when they had nothing.
Men and women had different peaks. Superficially speaking, women started becoming pretty in their teens and reached their peak in their 20s. At that time, they had many guys to choose from. A man’s financial power will only start to climb slowly from their 20s and finally reach the peak at about 40-45, during which if they are single they will have many women to choose from.
Just like when we go to a job interview, it is proper to want a salary matching of our capabilities. We may have a slightly higher expectation, but if we do not keep our demands realistic, then all we can get is multiple interviews but none will lead to employment. As time goes by, we will be left with nothing but a cry to the heavens as to why there is no good jobs left on earth. Afterall, the job market is an open and free market. The difference is, marriage is a partnership and not a transaction.